Dear 4-years-ago me

Dear self,

Dear guy that is probably sitting somewhere in a nice coastal city, at a bar, looking at the sea while barely listening to his friends and contemplating life. Dear self-righteous and barely-in-love guy that thinks he has everything figured out, even though he doesn’t know a single thing: this next one is for you. So please pay a little bit attention, leave that phone aside, stop staring at that girl –or go talk to her (you know you won’t you’re a first class chicken-shit)– and listen up.

Life sucks and then you die.

Ironically you saw that in a movie few years back, and you couldn’t care less, but you still haven’t Googled it, and so you still don’t remember where it’s from. The fundamental truth this phrase encompasses is that unless you make the most of each moment, you’ll end up regretting every single day away that will come to pass. Hence go that extra walk on the seafront, go check that bookstore you keep hearing about, and definitely talk to that uncle you have that is a WWII veteran about his war stories. You never know if you’ll ever get to hear from him next time you visit home. I don’t want to spoil things for you, but there will come a time in your life that his stories will actually be something you’ll miss and cherish.

I would also suggest, my dear self, that you work a bit too much. It might be just a thought, but this crazy life that other people around you have, might be something you want to try. You might reach a point where that will not be possible, and you might actually then envy it. However –and keep this word of advice close to your heart– you might actually not. You don’t seem like the person that would find huge parties and large groups of people entertaining. Then again, just to find a compromise, next time try to say “yes” to your friends if they invite you out. This city you find yourself in will be the love of your life.

And love? Oh boy, I guess I need to tell you now, don’t I? Well, you got to dissociate feelings from people. Don’t think love, and then, with that adorable Pavlov’s Dog attitude, think of a certain person. Love and happiness, for all the connections they have, is a certain situation you can’t always find yourself in. And what you have right now is based on the blissful ignorance of your own, and the other person’s, desires. Then again, we both know you probably will skip that paragraph and see if the future holds anything better. Because you are a child of a global austerity, and who has time for love in desperate times, right?

Well son, you’ll be fine. You’ll just need to realize, much like any adult around you, that we can’t have everything we want from this life. We can’t have the house on the hill, the dog and the spouse we dream of. And that might be for the best if you really think about it.

But your beer is getting cold, so please disregard my words, go to your friends, and occasionally flirt, because you really suck at it dude.