Confetti and balloons alert.
One of these past days, due to certain circumstances and my inability to choose an appropriate gift for my partner’s birthday, I was led to draft a letter to her. On the one hand I wanted this article to be in epistolary form: personal and touching. On the other hand, for all of you readers out there struggling to write a couple of lines to your own partner and feeling inadequate –or even unworthy to put one word next to the other– the following “guide” of some sorts will be either a delight or a reason to despair. Do whatever you want; I couldn’t care less what happens. If one person finds it useful, it will be enough.
First and foremost, write down her name. Write it down again and again, make sure that what you write is for one person, that person. The name will help, the name will liberate you from the ideal image of your partner, because this is not the 19th century and it is greatly appreciated if any superb exaggerations are avoided. Plus, mentioning the name will make sure that this is not a copy/paste from another writer, although my next piece of advice is more pertinent towards that goal.
I think I just did what I hate, dragging you towards the rest of the article with a catchphrase that will make you look further down. It worked didn’t it though…?
Write about her. Write about how unique she is, how her craziness matches yours. How her eyes glow in the dark, when you’re alone in bed, how when her body touches yours things wake up in you that you didn’t know were there. Because if you decide you want to write to someone you love, someone you want to be with, then you need to make sure this is not a one-hit wonder.
Writing a letter to the one you love means missing all the little moments you have with her. Because as you must have understood, this is about her. I might write one in the future about how to address “him”; trapped as we are in our conformed gender roles, this might be enough. Just follow the same principles and avoid stereotypes.
While you write, if you find yourself having trouble finding the proper words or finishing a sentence, or if for any reason encounter the notorious “writer’s block”, please put the pen down. This is not the 19th century, I will not advocate for the perfect letter; the flawless one that will be like a novella. It MUST have smudges, the pen MUST leave little blots – because life is not perfect, because nothing is taken for granted.
When the letter is sent, a part of your soul is inadvertently tagged along with it. Words are easy to forget, and mark my words –touché– they will be eventually. The letter though is a whole other story. Be it in a forgotten drawer, be it in a piece of luggage somewhere in the attic, be it in a wallet as a good-luck charm, this letter you will write could very well change someone’s life. Write responsibly and be true to yourself and the person next to you.
They –should– deserve it.