Next time, surprise me

00:01 am.

Our ten year anniversary has just passed. Of course, you remembered it as you always do. Nothing to complain about here. But, has it been a special day? Not really. I have been watching you for the last three hours, sitting next to me, eating the festive dinner I prepared and talking about work and chores around the house. Almost like any other day. And I have been waiting and secretly hoping that something special would happen; at least in the end of the day. I have been waiting for you to give me something to remember. Not necessarily a material gift. Just some beautiful and different; a new romantic memory.

But there wasn’t anything like this. As always.

Okay, I get it sweetheart.

Besides, you have made it clear so many times before. You are not the romantic type. You don’t like expressing your feelings in emotional words and romantic gestures. And you are not exactly crazy about emotional movies and sentimental songs. Maybe, you can blame it on your gender. Or not. Anyway, you are not a fan of romantic stuff. Period. I get it. But, you see the problem is that I am. I have always been romantic to the bone. You know it. And since you claim that you love me so much, at least when I ask you if you do, you must try harder to keep the romance flowing and me happy and content.

It is kind of easy anyway. I have always been a sucker for dinners in candlelight, romantic little getaways, flowers, surprise gifts and romance cinema nights. But, a simple small note with a couple of love verses left on my bed table would also do it. I don’t mind if your romantic surprises to me are not perfect. I just want them to be genuine. I just want you to think of something nice for me all by yourself. Before I have to ask you to do so. And of course without me dictating the details.

I want to be taken by surprise once. In a good way, of course. I would like you to surprise me with something small that comes straight from your heart and imagination. It might be something original or some pure cliché. It doesn’t matter, my love. As long as you are thoughtful enough to do it for me, before I ask you to, I will absolutely love it. Because, if I have to plan it or beg for it, it isn’t a surprise anymore. Poof! All the magic disappears. All excitement is lost.

I grew so tired of being the mastermind behind all of our romantic hangouts and date nights. I am tired of asking you if you love me, just to hear you say it. I am fed up with expecting more romance from you and getting utterly disappointed in the end every single time. Baby, it isn’t so hard. You shouldn’t need instructions on how to love me. You should just do it.

You know me pretty well after all. You know all the little things that I like, you know what makes my heart beat faster. You know how a single unexpected “I love you” from your lips is enough to calm my fears or soothe my pain. But, you rarely say it anyway. You know that even the smallest romantic surprise from you can put a smile on my face for the whole day. But, you just don’t put enough effort in preparing something nice for me. And I don’t know why.

I am sure you can do better than that. And I know for a fact that you do love me. So, I’ll take that extra romance in my life now, please. You see, romance is a beautiful ingredient of every successful relationship. But, it doesn’t need specific instructions on how to use it in the recipe. You just pour it in, stir a little bit and your life becomes tastier. So, it’s not that I can’t live without the romance. But frankly, why should I?

Well, come on darling, surprise me. I know you can. And romance me. It isn’t that bad and you know I will love it. You don’t have to push yourself though. Do something small and only if you think that I deserve it.  Not because I ask you to or just to avoid my grumbling. Because it isn’t the same that way and it would never be.  Do something that you really want without me showing the way. Just improvise!

Keep that in mind next time. Happy anniversary!