The picture is open on your desktop. You were just cleaning out your browser. You don’t know how and why you stopped at this picture and what the hell came over you to open it up and look at it after such a long time of avoiding to. But now you’re there, stuck staring at a picture from a time –maybe not so– long ago. God, were they perfect! You were such an amazing couple, the perfect couple, a match made in heaven. It’s over now, though.
First off, take that word –perfect– and completely delete it from your mind. Delete it from your memory and delete it even from your vocabulary; unless you’re talking about art. There is no such thing in people. There is no such thing in relationships, I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it a million more. Nobody is perfect. No situation is perfect. There is no such thing. Period.
Ideal, maybe. For the specific time of your life, for the circumstances you were in, for what you needed and wanted at the given period. Ideal for you. Not the other person. Or possibly the other way around. Maybe it was you that left and now you’re having second thoughts. Why? Because of that damn image open on your browser. A picture of a time filled with emotions, and the person that brought those emotions to the surface.
People come into your life for a reason. There is also a reason when they leave. Or when you leave. Nothing is meant to last forever and there is only one person that will stay till the end. And they don’t stay because they’re perfect. They don’t stay because you’re perfect. They endure, with you, because your imperfections match a little better than with anyone else’s.
Those who go though, have left things with us and taken things with them. For a time we can’t quite see things clearly; we see only the good, only the things that we once had and are now without. We tend to idolize people after they’re gone. When they’re no longer right there, when we can no longer have them and call them ours. We put them up on a pedestal, turning them into Gods when, in reality, they are just people. Mere mortals with flaws and vices. They take shape in our minds and we cling to an image that is, not completely inaccurate, only partial.
And to deal with the loss you think your at, to fill the void you think they left in you, you seek, in vain, the same imagined flawlessness in others, thinking that person was everything you’ll never be able to find again. Attributing them with divine perfection — instead of moments you shared with them. It’s the moment that was perfect; not the person. They weren’t perfect, they aren’t perfect, and above all, they are not perfect for you. Even your imperfections didn’t match enough for it to work.
But you were in love you say. So? Is love something unalterable and stable? Does it not change throughout the years? Does it not grow and evolve? Then why do you insist for it to stay the same and not fade?
As idolater you worship the image in front of you and not the substance it represents. You are entranced by the superficial, the surface of what you see and the emotions it brings to you, and not the depth. Not the art behind it, not the hours, days and years it may have taken, or the effort and will necessary to persist, to make it as you see it now. And you’re sitting there laying your life down as a sacrificial goat in honor of an idol that can no longer see, hear or feel you. You’re stuck on an image of something that was, a dream of what could’ve been, ignoring what is; and missing what could be.
Back to reality. That’s not you anymore. That person is no longer in your life. And you just got sucked into a memory that has as much substance to it as smoke dissolving in the air as it rises. Keep the memory. Cherish it as such. Smile at the good times. Don’t let bitterness seep into it. Look at the picture and close it. Move on and make new memories, take new pictures, live new beautiful experiences. Create new perfect moments with new imperfect people.
Mind fuck isn’t it? And all because you opened up a picture on your browser.
Author: Nikól Peri
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