Is true love a real thing?

“Is it real?” asked the mind. 
“Does it matter?” answered the heart.

All of us have wondered hundreds of times whether true love is an illusion or not. But it is not the existence of love we really doubt. What actually troubles us is how this exquisite feeling is capable of causing so much pain. And because there is no answer to that, we resort to questioning the existence of love altogether, in the hopes that we will avoid the suffering.

True love can appear in many shapes and forms. It is as varied as human nature is. What is beyond a doubt, however, is that no one can escape the cupid’s arrows. And despite the trouble it brings about, nothing can give more meaning to life than love itself. Let me quote here a small extract from one of my favorite books, “The Titan’s Curse” by Rick Riordan, to prove my point.

“Love conquers all,” Aphrodite promised. “Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?”
“Didn’t they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?”
“Pfft. That’s not the point. Follow your heart.”

So follow your heart because, although “the course of true love never did run smooth” –William Shakespeare–, “the sweet pain of anticipation of love tells us that we are alive” –Albert Camus–.

Happiness and pain are both integral parts of that glorious feeling we call Love. They do not contradict each other – they complement each other. Strange, isn’t it?

All of you, that are in love and wish to remain in love, should bear that in mind. Love is not there to give you a glass of water when you’re thirsty or a pat on your shoulder in difficult times. Love is difficult times. It sets you on fire and makes you burn through the skies. Love, like death, is our destiny and as is the case with death, we cannot avoid it, either. But love is stronger than death. It rules our lives.

We all crave to be loved and become almost obsessed with the person our heart desires, despite the fact that our feelings are likely to lead us to darkness and torment. And when a relationship comes to an end, and love vanishes into thin air, we are left with a gaping emotional wound. Unfortunately, many of us cannot bear the wounds, and we give up on love instead of becoming stronger and more resilient, ready for more adventures and sacrifices.

Of course, people are not always to blame for their inability to cope with love and its calamities. We have all been raised with so many romantic stereotypes about relationships that when reality “breaks out” and we come crashing down to earth from cloud nine, we tend to believe that we have been betrayed and that true love is a myth.

But we have been misguided by our parents at first, and then by all the poets and songwriters that put into words what really lies in the sphere of wishful thinking. I do not mean to discredit all those great people who have praised love in their work. What I really want to stress is that we must not take what they write literally. There is no living happily ever after and our expectation of love should not be idealistic.

What we must do instead is move beyond the pain of a failed relationship and shift focus back on ourselves and our own unique ability to give and receive love. We must understand that it is important to connect to difficulties after our heart is broken. After all true love is not necessarily connected to long term romance.

Perhaps there is no one true love, but instead a series of them. So if we want to experience the reality of the feeling, we should allow another person in our life when our previous love ceased to exist.