Written by Cindy.
This story started about four years ago. I was relaxing on my sofa, going through Facebook, and looking at pictures of friends. And there he was! Part of the group of people on a trip one of my friends had been on. He was my type; kind of a rocker, dark skin, dark eyes, short hair, and a beard. Of course, the next thing I did was to go to his profile. Relationship status: in a relationship. Well, better luck next time! But, cute guy!
Fast forward to 3 years later; a new year was beginning. And one day, as I was talking with that friend who had been on that trip, we said that it was a nice idea to go out one day with her other group of friends. I was single and loved the idea. She even told me that she had a particular friend of hers in mind for me. He had similar tastes to mine in music, he was in a band and he was one of these really sensitive people. And yes, as she described him to me, he was the one that had caught my eye three years earlier!
I started being very excited about meeting him! And so I did, a few weeks later. One evening we all went out for a drink. We started talking, finding out how many things we have in common, having a good time, and most of all he seemed like he had an interest in me. The next day we both commented on a photo of our mutual friend on Facebook but he didn’t keep on talking. It seemed like he wasn’t so interested after all.
A couple of weeks followed. Until one morning I woke up and when I opened my Facebook page I saw a new inbox and friend request from him! I tried to be chill about it. I accepted his request, answered his inbox and we started talking casually. We went on our first date about a week after that. I still remember that day, I had so much work to do and at the end of it I was exhausted, but when he unexpectedly asked me out I thought “why not? You’re very tired but go outside your comfort zone for once!”. And I did, and a few days later we went on our second date and we became a couple!
He was so close to my ideal significant other and he was my boyfriend at last! We had fun, we liked the same stuff and he made me feel nice and beautiful. One of the greatest dates we had was that when one evening we went out with our mutual friend and her boyfriend. We went to an art exhibition and then to a concert.
I remember feeling so lucky and happy, really happy, I had my love, my friends, I was listening to good music! But you see, music is played by people and these people happened to be men and my love thought that one of them was looking at me. No, that didn’t happen, but a fight about his unreasonable jealousy did happen. And it was the first time I cried. We made up; bad things happen sometimes, after all.
We continued being together and falling in love. Until the next incident of jealousy. And unpleasant incidents kept happening.
Did someone just look at me on the street? Why did I put on more makeup when we were out with our mutual friends than I did when we were just the two of us? He would prefer me not to meet his friends because there was an incident when one of his friends ended up with another’s girlfriend, so he wouldn’t like something like that to happen to us too. Why didn’t I want to be with him all the time? Why did I answer to his “I love you” with a bunch of emoticons? I liked going out very much. I wasn’t effusive enough with him, though. Every man probably wanted to sleep with me. I probably had a better time when we weren’t together.
Imagine all the above, with the addition of a bunch of mentions to his ex-girlfriend and him being always smiley to others, but always grumpy and frequently mad about something that happened in general in his life. And always searching for a cause to start a fight. All these led to having a bad relationship where we were fighting and making up after a while, all the time, me not walking away and crying a lot. Being in love doesn’t always let you think clearly, and even if you do, it is hard to admit, even to yourself, how things really are.
But the worst thing wasn’t that. It was the fact that I had started looking at myself in the mirror and realizing that even though I used to be a person that was always smiling, I wasn’t smiling so much anymore. And the second-worst thing was that I had started being affected by his way of thinking and being careful not to cause any fights.
So, the end didn’t take long to come, but even though he always seemed to be the most in love from the two of us, it came from him. One night he called me and told me that some things reminded him of his past (the thought of him not being completely over his ex-girlfriend was a nightmare and much more that he used it to break up with me), that he wanted to have more freedom (which was something that he was taking from me, and definitely not me from him) and that he had cheated on me (well, I think, I’m not sure if this was true, there’s a good chance he told me something like that so I can get over him sooner. It was his way of thinking after all).
Was I torn to pieces? Completely! But in the end, I had the last laugh because I took all the pain and turned it into energy to turn my life around. But that’s a story for another time…