Ever since I was a little kid, I used to constantly have ideas, about plays, poems, jokes, or even movie plots, that I was write down in notebooks, on post-its, even on napkins, so I would not forget them later.
That is one of the main reasons why I finally decided to write for a living. But everything changed that winter rainy night when I first saw your face; it was like time stood still.
You were absolutely stunning and with your dark eyes, I felt like you could see right through my soul. Days passed, so did weeks but as my interest for you grew, my inspiration went straight to hell. All I could think of was you and even when I tried to put a pen down on paper, words didn’t seem to have a meaning at all. Everything that came out of my mouth, or was written down, at the time was either cheesy or terribly confusing.
I knew that something inside me had started to change but I was in denial. I kept up my daily routine like absolutely everything was the same and nothing had changed, but the thought of you kept popping up, out of nowhere.
After seeing you face to face again, everything started to settle down inside my mind. I was simply in love with you. Maybe after my last unfortunate love, I had sworn never to allow myself to feel that way again, but at that time it was just beyond my powers. Maybe years had passed since the last time I truly felt it, but it was love, without a doubt. I remember seeing you smile once and thinking “Holy shit, I’m screwed!”.
You could make me laugh, loudly, at any time and my heart was raced like crazy whenever you were coming across the room towards me. All the other men were nothing but invisible. My eyes couldn’t stop searching for your face in the crowd, my body was longing for a touch from your fingers.
I felt jealous of all the other women that were chatting with you and I found myself trying to draw your attention. I started acting like a teenager, checking out my phone every five seconds just to see if I had a sign of yours.
I found it really hard to sleep because when I was lying in my bed I couldn’t stop thinking of you. In that way, hours had passed, with me just staring pointlessly at the ceiling. My appetite had been thrown in the garbage as well. It was like I was sick of a disease that I knew but I didn’t really want to be cured; I refused any kind of medication offered.
And then, when I finally admitted it, my head started feeling a little less dizzy than before. From that time, each one of my pieces, anything I write, is somehow inspired by you. I take shards of the moments that we have lived together and I make them immortal.
I write about you because I want to have the ability to recall all of my current emotions after years go by. Because now that I am writing down these very few lines I am desperately in love with you and these are the kind of feelings that deserve to survive through eternity.