Written by Anonymous.
Anonymous, yes, because it doesn’t really matter who I am -think of me as the voice of your concsious- because this is not my story to tell. But you should know it nevertheless. It’s of no consequence who she is and who you are changes nothing, either, to be honest. Who cares?
Because it was just sex, right? No big deal.
You’re not 15 to get attached to someone just because your hearts skipped a couple of beats or because you managed to get each other all hot and bothered for a while. Nor is she entitled to be hurt or offended, right? She’s a grown woman and it was just sex. No big deal.
No, buddy, you’re right.
It’s not your problem she actually believed in you, and –was hoping– thought you were different; that you had some depth and substance to you. She shouldn’t have tried so hard to get close, especially because you didn’t reciprocate equally.
You’re right, man. She should’ve realized; you didn’t ask, you didn’t want to know.
So you started to get to know each other’s routines? You kept her at arms length; as much as you could. Things slipped through the cracks now and again. She caught you off guard at others. She was smart; she could see through things so it was challenging. You played a bit; so did she. You had fun, just as she did. No big deal.
So she liked you; a lot. She might have even been falling for you; developing emotions. You liked her, too. But you were more careful – been there, done that; you know how this game’s played. We’re responsible for our own emotions and controlling them. You did your part, she should’ve done hers. Come on, no big deal.
You got it, you’re right.
So you flirted a little. And then you flirted a lot. Things went as far as you making it a game of who was going to keep the other horny for longest and it was a given that at some point her ass was going to get tapped. You wanted it. She wanted it. Apparently she was a bit more impatient than you. She called you that night. You both knew what was going to happen. Two consenting adults. Raw sex. Good sex. No big deal.
No, you’re absolutely right. I mean, at 2 am what more did she expect?
You knew that, for her to make that call, it took balls – she put herself on the line and you can appreciate the fact. But, not the point. And so you totally ignored her the next day, and the day after that; no big deal.
So it stung her pride. She’s a big girl, she’ll get over it. You aren’t kids; you don’t have to explain each step you take. She should’ve known what your silence meant. And if she didn’t, not your problem, she’d figure it out eventually and let go. It was just sex. No big deal.
I hear you. You’re right.
So you tainted emotions she already had for you with your asinine attitude, killing any potential future. Who cares? You’re not interested in love. I mean, what did she want? You to get all deep and talk about your emotions? It was just sex. No big deal.
Let’s not confuse it with actually being in love. If it’s not love – no big deal, right?
Exactly. It was just sex. You’re right.
So what if you proved to be more indifferent than a complete stranger. She learnt a lesson. Disillusionment is a bitch, but so what? No big deal.
So she’s angry with you? Damn straight – she’s pissed at you. So? No big deal.
She’ll get over it. For heaven’s sake it was just sex. No big deal.
So what if she now passes you up in the hall and she doesn’t even look at you. No big deal.
So what; you didn’t know each other before, you don’t know each other now. No big deal.
So what if she no longer texts in the middle of the night, just so her “good morning” is the first thing you see when you wake up. No big deal.
So what if you see her smile, now brought about, not by you, but by that asshole from the 2nd. No big deal.
So what if it’s slowly becoming as if you never shared that night. No big deal.
So what if you’ve caught yourself looking for her in the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, just to see if she still does her hair up the way you like it, or if she’s wearing that dress she wore that night. No big deal.
So what if sometimes the thought, that you threw a chance with an amazing woman out the window, crosses your mind. No big deal.
So what if you get lost daydreaming about her lips on yours and the way her body felt shaking against yours. No big deal.
No, man, I’m totally with you on this. It was just sex. No big deal.
So what if you could’ve kept on having amazing sex.
So what if you clicked on a mental level; as if you had finally met your match.
So what if she could’ve made you happy.
So what if you could’ve fallen in love with her.
So what if she could’ve loved you back.
So what if you just passed up the chance of a lifetime.
So what if you’re alone in bed, unable to sleep – again.
So what if you’re thinking about her.
It was just sex?
No big deal?