Written by Linn.
Incomprehensible what is happening to me.
I am a captive of my own mind. You are everywhere.
I want to let the thought of you fade away, even for a bit. I want to just let go, but it’s like I am locked up in a cell and can do nothing; bars surround me, keeping me locked inside like a prisoner, trying to find a way, struggling to get out.
And suddenly I see a key, the key that could grant me my freedom, just a few feet away. I am ecstatic, thinking I can finally be free and I try to reach it. But no, not just ecstatic, but a bid melancholic simultaneously because I cannot fathom how life will be from now on; without you.
I almost touch the key, my savior, and suddenly… I see that it’s just outside of my grasp, just an inch apart but I cannot reach it. My salvation, so close but still so far away. I fall apart. Tears soak my cheeks, blurring my vision, and confused as I am, it’s like I see you just outside the bars, outside my cell taunting me.
I feel hollow inside. I don’t feel anything -I am empty, void. But it feels wonderful. Just for a few moments, I feel nothing, neither pain nor bitterness; nothing. You don’t exist, you never did! I close my eyes and a smile spreads across my whole face. But as I do, and everything is blank, I envision you again and the spell is over. You are still there, I may have escaped for a few moments but I am not free, not by far.
New tears roll down my face, threatening to drown me. But my smile gets bigger; bigger than before. I realize I don’t really want to be free from you. I may seem like a prisoner, but deep down I am not; I am truly free. Free to live my dreams.
In this tiny cell in my mind, my dreams take form, become flesh and bone, like a movie playing in front of my eyes, with me in the leading part. And I see you, just outside my cell, bending down and taking the key in your hands, the key to my heart and soul.
Inserting it in its keyhole and unlocking my heart once and for all. Taking my hand in yours, and leading the way towards happiness. Telling me “Let’s go, I am here now and I won’t ever leave again”. I look at our hands intertwined and I know you are my salvation, my destiny, the path I have to follow.
But it’s just a sham, a trick of my mind. In the end, I am still a prisoner; a captive of my heart and mind, with you as the only escape. Will you save me? I love my dreams and your memories, they are truly beautiful, but they aren’t enough to make me get through the days. I will be waiting for you to unlock the door and let me live and breathe again. You alone can do this.
And if you don’t… I will drown in my own tears, fade away and be reborn again, far away from you. It’s just that… I will miss you gravely.
Make the right choice, the end is not yet upon us; it’s not set on stone. Let’s write the happy ending to our story, the one that we deserve; together. You and only you hold the key to paradise…