Hi, there.

You know me. The person you’ve been flirting with all semester. The eye contact and smiles during class. The drinks together after. The texting. The invitations to come over.

Was there some kind of miscommunication between us? To be quite frank, I think I’ve been pretty upfront with my feelings. It’s pretty obvious, and I’ve been clear. I don’t think it’s fair for you to claim to be ignorant. You invited me to stay with you for the summer — for fuck’s sake.

It seems that somewhere over the several months we’ve known each other there was some type of miscommunication between us. How is it that over all of that time, you happened to never mention that you’re in a relationship? We’re not talking a few days or even a couple weeks. How did you never think to mention that you’ve been seeing someone… for years?

At this point, I think you have to see where I’m coming from. I’m left here mainly with one thought: I know you’re not blind so are you being an asshole to me or to your partner? Or both?

You know how I feel. It’s totally cool if you don’t feel the same. I mean, it sucks but if you’re just upfront, that’s totally understandable. Just have the respect for me to not lead me on. Actually, just a reference to the fact that you’re in a relationship would be plenty. But it’s been months, so you have to be actively trying to not mention them.

If you’ve been actively not mentioning them, well, that’s pretty shitty to your partner, too. Do they know you literally never mention them? That it literally took you months to bring them up, and then it was only because they were in town.

Did you think I’d never find out? That must be it. You’d hoped to keep up the façade until, well, I’m not really sure how long you wanted to keep it up. I’m not sure what the successful endgame was here.

Maybe I’m just being too harsh. I’ll feel better about you and me both. It’s not that you’re an asshole. Maybe you just didn’t know what to do. It didn’t come up for a while and then it was too late so you just kept putting it off in hopes that it wouldn’t come up. It’s possible having to bring it up was just as uncomfortable for you. Actually, no. It was worse for me, trust me. It’s a pretty disappointing moment finding out the person you’ve been flirting with is in a long-term, committed relationship. But it may have sucked for you some too.

All that said, this entire shit show does mean you dropped a bit in my eyes. Yes, we clearly had some type of misunderstanding. We clearly weren’t on the same page. But I think it’s fair to say that you may also be a bit more of an asshole than I initially thought.

Basically this whole relationship – whatever it is, I don’t think I can even call it that – has turned out to be a pretty big disappointment. At least I learned my lesson for next time: sometimes it’s better to straight up ask if someone is dating.

How romantic.

Author: Dani Howell

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