The Christmas lights at the window display were white, tiny and they went on and off. She gazed at them as if she was being hypnotized. They illuminated her face with their sparkling light. She observed the display thoroughly. All was lavish, with gold and silver colors. Artificial Christmas Trees, with loads of ornaments on them and presents with big red bows. They looked like they had come out of a fairy tale.
As it’s getting darker and colder, she got herself wrapped up with her favorite white woolen scarf. She took a short detour before she got home. The town was already been decorated. Christmas trees, Santa’s fake dolls waving their hands, singing Christmas Carols, elves and reindeers. “Wait… Isn’t it a little early? “ She wondered.
Christmas Eve was less than a month away.
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” she heard the song coming out from a store. As she reached the town’s central square the big Christmas tree made its appearance. A beautiful, tall, green and spiky tree. Decorated with shining lights that sparkle so bright in the dark cold winter night. She lifted her eyes up and took a glimpse at the star on the top of the tree. “I feel so sad..” her thoughts were interrupted by the voices and the cheers of the children who were running around the tree, wondering what present will the Santa bring to them and if they were naughty or nice all year long.
She tried to smile, but she couldn’t.
Christmas Holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and celebration. For her was anything but that. She continued her evening walk. Last Christmas was the happiest of her life. “Well, maybe this will be fine too.” She tried to convince herself.
She felt depressed. A bittersweet melancholy. People were passing her by laughing, with shopping bags, hugging each other. They all seemed very joyous. She was far off the holiday cheer.
“Is all that fuss necessary? “
She ordered a hot chocolate and even the waiter wished her to have great holidays “What’s wrong with everybody?” she questioned. She went straight home slamming the door behind her, as if she wanted to leave out the entire festive atmosphere.
“I should probably decorate the house too… “ she said to herself.
She felt lonely.
She took out her notebook.
Holiday To-Do List
1. Sent Christmas cards
2. Accept parties invitation (go; at least to one)
3. Go to the family dinner (eat my mother’s Christmas salad, not fight with my sister over nothing, laugh at my father’s joke.)
4. Find a boyfriend
5 . Be happy
She erased number 4 and wrote again.
4. Write a letter to Santa to bring me a boyfriend. —“What? I was nice all year!”
She snuggled into the wooly blanket. Alone. Just a year ago somebody else was snuggling her – other than the blanket.
“I can’t feel depressed at this time of the year.. “
She searched the internet for the Christmas Blues.
….Hospitals and police forces report high incidents of depression during Christmas Holidays…
She took a deep breath as started to think the real meaning of Christmas. It’s a time of giving. A time to be happy and generous to other people, but also to ourselves. We should be grateful of what we have. “ I should be grateful…” she whispered as she fell asleep. It was easy to say, damn hard to feel.
The next morning found her running off to work. As she was in a hurry, she noticed a tiny snowflake landing on her nose. She looked up in the white sky. It was snowing. The first snow of the season.
She put her hat on; she got wrapped up with that woolen white scarf again and searched her pockets to find the matching gloves.
“ Where is the other one?” She wondered.
“Excuse me, is that yours?”
She turned around and saw those familiar, beautiful green eyes looking at her.
She was longing for that look months now.
“Yes, thank you… “
“What are you doing on Christmas Eve?” He asked politely.
Her Christmas present came a little early this year.