You sit in front of your hi-tech personal computer, you press the start button, it lights up and its warm light illuminates your face and the whole room. It makes you smile and you feel happy like a little child in a candy store. You have –literally- the whole word in front of you, even though you are completely alone in your house. But you don’t feel lonely, in the contrary. Everything is just a click away. Your social media friends and your social media alter ego, that she is having so much fun than your real self. Look how she is smiling, feeling awesome in a location somewhere, look how grateful she is for having so many friends that thought about her at her birthday. Who cares that she only really knows a handful of them? It doesn’t matter. Her virtual self is so much better than she is. Her virtual self is more social, confident, self-assured and likeable than she ever going to be in reality. And that is enough for her.
You close the devise and as it shuts down, it takes away your smile too. Now you are trully alone. The feeling of loneliness is heavy. You are biologically designed to be connected with other people. Just as your other primary desires like hunger and thirst are necessary for you to live and prosper, loneliness is the signal that alerts you that something is wrong to you, psychically and emotionally.
Loneliness is turning into an epidemic in our society. We are basically never alone, and yet, we are lonelier than ever. And as technology is moving forward, in maximum speeds, so is our isolation. You may have 500 hundred friends on the social media, you may have 5000. Are they indeed your friends? No, they are just some occasional acquaintances? Does quantity really matter? Maybe, it’s not about the quantity, but the quality that you should seek in your relationships. It doesn’t matter how many –real not virtual- friends that we have but how deep is our connection and the love that we have for them.
How many times you went out with your friends and just couldn’t take your eyes of your cell phone or i-pad? Instead of talking to each other, how many times you were all being so soaked up in your perfect virtual world than the real one? Why do we prefer that “matrix” world than the one that we live in? Because it’s our perfect little world. The one that we all wished we lived in.
Sometimes you feel alone even if you are in a bunch full of people. And that’s the worst feeling ever. You feel isolated and sad. And if you don’t feel connected to them the feeling becomes more and more intense. The lack of that communication inevitable makes us feel lonely.
Can we fix that?
Someone once told me “Don’t try to get to know new people, try to get to know the people that are already in your life better.” and he was right. We all should try to know our loved ones better. Let them cure our loneliness. . That is what makes the loneliness go away. Hug and love the people that are in your life. Show that you need them.
Leave your phone at home, from time to time, disconnect yourself from the technology, close your pc and look your friends directly at them when they are talking to you over a hot cup of coffee. Stop and stare the cute guy at the bar and stop poking him at the social media. He is real and so are you.
Stay connected with people in real time, shut down your hi-tech devices and loneliness will automatically be shut down too.