I’ve come to find that there are different kinds of love in every single relationship we have.

First, there’s the one that leaves you empty, the one that was only meant to teach you how to properly stand on your own, how to pick yourself up. Then, there’s the one that you try your best to hold on to, but something just always feels off, and even though you thought you could give it everything you’ve got, sometimes it’s just not meant to be. There’s the one that was doomed from the start and, deep down in your sensitive heart, you’d always known it was, no matter how many times you struggled to deny it to yourself, or practised forgiveness and turned to oblivion, just because you were so helplessly in love with this person. There are relationships that might be completely meaningless to you, sort of like a city only suitable for a weekend getaway, but never enough to make you want to stay.

What you learn in the process, of course, is that you can get different things out of different relationships with different people. You can take every single experience and try to learn something about yourself — maybe it was something that made you either happy or unhappy, or certain qualities you liked or didn’t like about this person, or the way you treated each other. You can’t help but accept that, at some point, everyone that walks into your life, and whatever form of relationship you might have with them, eventually teaches you a lesson.

And yet, there are still the ones living with the impossible standard that they will find a relationship as good as a past one, overwhelmed by the idea that just because they had something good once, nothing will ever be able to replace this rush of emotions they used to be able to feel. That no one will ever be able to replace a certain person. You see, people go all the time, but how they left always stays.

Let me tell you something, though; people aren’t meant to be replaced. We share completely diverse memories and live unique moments with each and every one of them, and that is, by all means, more than fine. I mean, wouldn’t it be absolutely boring if you relived the same memories in each relationship you enter? I know, when you’ve loved someone, at a point in your life, there are times that the love always stays. And love never really dies. How can it, when it’s been written on blank pages, sang from the bottom of your lungs and filled your stomach with butterflies. Not necessarily sadly, there are times that the ink on your pen is through, you can’t even whisper a love song anymore, and the once vivid and beautiful butterflies and flowers that had grown in your insides, turn black. And yes, no matter how badly you might not want to, you will eventually forget about them. You will lose parts of them like eyelashes, unknowingly and everywhere, but you will never be the same and that’s for good reason. You learn to survive the breaking, the hurt, and the losses in life .

So, thank the universe for taking what it has taken, and giving what it has given. It all shaped you, and turned you into this imperfect, yet flawless piece of art you are today. Do me a favour and do not ever seek for replacements, for you will simply feel disappointed once you realise there aren’t any. Accept change, it is the greatest part of healing. Know that you are destined to experience much more better and unique feelings, and meet extraordinary human beings that make your heart break not out of grief, but for the first time happiness. Maybe you’ll even come across people who you don’t have to say goodbye to. Who knows?

There are all kinds of love. The one coming from your mother, completely unrequited, and from your father, even if it comes in a cruel form at times. From your best friend that you’ve shared your wildest dreams with, being each others’ greatest supporter. From your first heartbreak, and the one you only loved the idea of. And the one you could never love back.

In the end, you receive a unique form of love from everyone you had the chance of getting to know. And maybe sometimes love does cause pain- it’s a part of it after all, but when it is real and pure, like the one you’ve only daydreamed of, it will only make you feel as if you’re walking in the heartland of heaven. And what I can say for sure, is that absolutely none of these loves will, even remotely, be the same.

I never got to mention the best kind of love though.

The one worth all the heartaches before it, and makes you want to scream out of joy, and just the thought of losing them drives you to tears. The one that your happiness is theirs, and the person that you just can’t imagine a future without. Almost like they’ve become a part of you.

The one where you know you are finally home.

Author: Ioanna Vargianiti

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