Fortunately, we don’t live in the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, or even the 1950s. We are actually very lucky to have the freedom of choice when it comes to our partners. Imagine if you were condemned to live with a person for the rest of your –obviously– miserable life, that you most likely were not able to look straight in the eye, only because someone chose them for you. Even if you were a member of the Royal Family, in which, supposedly, you’d have some more extended degree of freedom, your daddy would have chosen for you.

Gladly, we live in 2016, when we all have the legal right to choose partners for ourselves.  And apparently, we can pick from a really big variety, with absolutely no restrictions. Some of us are more restricted, haunted by the ghosts of the past, some others keep a balance, whereas quite a few may have already lost count.

No matter how many significant others you have had, and no matter the frequency of the “acquisition”, it is almost certain that the unforgettable ones are going to be the first and the last. It’s the same principle as movies. You always get to remember the beginning and the end. The rest of it, other than a few exceptions, is merely slight details.

Who can ever forget the first love of their life? There might have been many admirers, crushes, or however an individual wants to call them, but it is the first real one that counts. Even though the crushes might have been more intense, one can’t compare them to the real deal.

On the other hand, if you were one of the lucky fellows to go through the “super-mega-combo-pack” of crush plus love at the same time, then you are doomed to remember it into eternity. For the good and the bad times. With equal intensity. All of those happy moments for the first time, when everything seemed so right and magical, that you thought that it was going to last forever and that you needed no more. Until the first disappointments came, to the point of no return. You couldn’t consider that the person, with whom you have mentally bonded and gone through so many phases, was about to become past.

And so they did. This person and many others. Each and every single time, that very first magic faded away more and more. Loves had no longer something to offer. They (and you) were only passing by. No love, no glory; no alarms, and no surprises. It is actually becoming a quest without an ending, other than the natural one.

At the very moment that you feel your power abandoning you, it is the time that you are seeking sanctuary and redemption. All in the face of the person with whom you are going to settle down and spend a few or lots of years together. When they appear, you both know that you will seek no more. It’s as if the very first magic returns and stays there forever. In the end, why shouldn’t it?

However, we haven’t yet talked about the biggest exception of them all. The pinnacle of happiness and fate, the ultimate “meant-to-be”. People who don’t have a first and a last, because it simply was the same person. On the one hand, it can be boring.

Then again, let’s be honest, haven’t you ever wished for it?

Author: Tina Barbatsalou

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