This one goes out to the one I love. This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind… 

Whether we want it or not, some loves are meant to belong to our dreams. Not all loves, and not every person we have ever been with; just a few special some. Happy, sad or neutral endings don’t really matter, since we keep the good moments. It may at first sound like the cliché of the century, but before shooting, please allow me to elaborate.

There will be a special category, in our minds and hearts, containing the people that we love or loved. Some of them, despite the fact that we no longer are together, managed to gain a special place in our hearts. Many years may pass but these are the people that continue to exist in our dreams forever. Blame it on the fairytale we spent together, on their kindness as personalities or just on some few good moments, they achieved to get themselves a spot in the top ten of our love hall of fame. And it’s not bad at all.

Bad breakups don’t discourage a person from entering that top ten, as strange as that may seem. Of course it will be more time consuming and even more painful to overcome a sea of tough memories, but if the soul-cleansing succeeds, they will also belong to the “allowed to dream of” category. They may keep participating in our lives as friends and acquaintances – or they may not. However, this is not a high-importance factor.

Once the separation pain has gone away and we don’t look back in anger anymore, we can safely dream about old loves and pleasant moments we spent with them. We allow ourselves to chill out, lay back, and daydream. Thinking of the times we shared and cherished or even creating imaginary ones. One may argue that this might be harmful to our present. But it’s not. Since all the damage that could be done is not likely to occur anymore, there is no danger at all.

After all, why not to enrich our imagination? It can even prove useful for giving us ideas for our present and everyday life. Making plans is good but dreaming is better. And ever since dreaming even about the so-called wrong person is healthy and doesn’t involve looking for substitutes, why not to do it?

It’s actually pretty sweet to dedicate some hours per day to our imagination and well being. It’s our private time, our sanctuary and absolutely no-one can take us away from there. However, we should be careful not to cross the thin red lines. All this procedure is healthy only when you wake up the next day and feel nothing but a sweet nostalgia. When this turns into suffering, this is a sign that something is really going south.

Because if dreaming about them is something that brings you some kind of joy, then it is a good thing. But if you see that you wake up in pain and sorrow about not being with them, maybe you should consider that your subconscious is trying to tell you something.

Dreaming about someone, more than once, means that we really do love them; that they are wedged deep inside us. And if waking up without them ruins those perfect moments when we wake… well, you’re a smart person, you know what that means and what you have to do.

Author: Tina Barbatsalou

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