tina22072020

Hey there.

Lately, I’ve been having a constant problem. I’m not sure if there is a good way to explain it though. I’ve been trying to find something subtle to say, something that will not bring more troubles than it already has. You know why? Because my problem is you. Don’t look stunned, you already knew it, you don’t fool me. After all, it takes two to tango. If it wasn’t for you messing up as well, well, I would have absolutely no idea what could have happened. Most likely nothing, or just a casual “hello” exchanged between the two of us; in the best-case scenario. I’m glad things didn’t quite turn out that way, though.

It doesn’t make sense, right? You’d better realize that this is what happens when I’m around you. Everything stops making sense. Screw logic, screw rules, screw politically correct codes of behavior. I would also say that the earth stops spinning but that would probably have caused a huge galactic effect. The only supermassive black hole is right inside my brain instead.

Yes, dude, what you caused me is called brain damage. Fried circuits if you prefer – but it’s all semantics so who cares? I will not be relieved until the very moment that I manage to shut your mouth by kissing you when you are talking. Now that I think about it better, I’d rather wait for you to do it first. Blame me for liking games; I don’t give a damn. But, yeah, I’d really like it if the initiative came from you.

The more the games, the more the time we spend saying that we “put up with” each other. Win-win situation, my dear. I’ve never had such a pleasant so-called “burden” before. Whether you talk about global warming or about pink elephants, time just passes in such a pleasant way and I just end up wanting more and more.

Oh my, the greedy beast I am! But you won’t get away with this; you are also to blame! Who told you to freeze and to go in an “out of order” state whenever I am (intentionally) staring at you? Who told you to look at me and smile and why the hell are you being so clumsy around me? Not that I am not enjoying it. On the contrary, I have to admit I’ve never felt such an indulging mix of excitement and fun at the same time. And honestly, there aren’t many pleasant things going on nowadays.

You know what? Why don’t we run away? Spontaneously, from one moment to another, and do all the crazy shit we imagine but don’t have the strength to say to each other. Would it be a rush of adrenaline, endorphins, and other evil hormones? Definitely. Would it be great? Probably. Would it be the way we imagine it? Unlikely. Would it last? No one knows and usually, these kinds of enthusiastic explosions are not famous for their happy endings. And I haven’t learned yet if it is better and harmless to live them or just dream of them.

But, what the hell, what’s the worst that could happen, right?

Author: Tina Barbatsalou

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