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How would you explain what happens when you meet the “one”? It’s this explosion of feelings, which is quite hard to describe. Butterflies, and other insects, are throwing a party inside your stomach and you feel like you‘ve never felt before. Seriously now, can you count how many times, up until now, you have met that “one”? Judging by my own experiences, and friends’ descriptions, I would safely reply “quite a few”.

Because most of the time, “the one” is not the chosen one. It’s just that happiness attack striking you on the head with a chair and clouding your judgment. Yes, it truly is more than exciting. Especially if the admiration is mutual. You give signals and looks, receive more in return and you can’t wait for the moment something will happen between you two.

So there you are, trying to survive in the oxytocin overflow, an adrenaline and serotonin cocktail getting you drunker than Jagermeister mixed with Speed, you seeing stars and expelling rainbows like Nyan cat in the ten-hour version video. I would admit it’s quite amazing. The longer it lasts, the happier you are. Soon enough though, the excitement turns to dinners and watching sitcoms in front of the TV, getting sucked in by routine and everyday life, postponing trips for no reason and in the worst-case scenario, trying to impose your mentality on your S.O., because –what a surprise–, their’s isn’t good enough anymore.

The way they fold the tablecloth, the fact that they are overly attached to their parents, that they don’t like your friends but they insist you like theirs, the habits you once didn’t give a fuck about and now are bothering you like nothing else in the whole world. It’s when you seek some alone time. And you get it, you enjoy it and here it comes.

In the very moment that you feel bored to death, in a relationship with no meaning, here comes “the one” again! Those ones, those ones… They’re so majestic, so perfect; so magical. You believe that they were there, with the right timing, to take you out of your misery, don’t you? You suddenly realize that you have so much in common with them, that the universe conspired for you two to meet.

Bloody hell, you aren’t lucky; you were struggling to find something to take you out of your dead-end. You envisioned Mr. or Mrs. Perfect in their faces, without them being even close to that. You wanted a way out of the maze and you caught the very first opportunity you found right in front of you. No dear, it’s neither love nor some kind of joy explosion. It’s you being bored and nothing phenomenal than you trying to break free from a more than a vicious circle. That you’re going to live over and over until you learn.

Love is more about solving your problems than leaving them aside and running away. If they can’t be solved, maybe you –and all of us– should reconsider our initial choices, spend some time on our own and define what we really want.

Author: Tina Barbatsalou

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