When we hear the word “summer”, many things such as splish-splash on the beach, cocktails by the sea, nights by the fire with marshmallows, and someone playing the guitar, top models, hot guys, beach sports and funny members of the beach ecosystem.

A sense of ultimate chilling, having the scent of the sea aura, the suntan lotions, the feeling of the stuck sand on your legs, and the sound of the mothers screaming to their children to be aware of the deep water and sharks (pun intended).

There are some people though, for whom the summer doesn’t bring that sense of joy and pleasure. The ones who broke up recently won’t enjoy these days as much. Summer will bring tears to their eyes, their cheeks will be salty and wet – and it won’t be because of the seawater.

The ones who are responsible for this hazard are those bastards who dared to end the frigging relationship at the best time of the year. Shame on them and may they burn to hell eternally. Other than that, they should be bisected and put in formaldehyde for further observation. They’re name? A simple and concise double entendre worthy of their deed: they are the “Summer dumpers”.

Case 1. The most innocent, which also gets away with the autopsy. The ones who ended a relationship because it was meant to be over. The timing was just an evil coincidence. Period. Life goes on.

Case 2. The ones who every summer, around the same dates like to schedule a breakup just because. This usually occurs to people in their early twenties but recently it started gaining popularity among other age groups as well. For them, being single in the summertime is a necessity. It’s way better being single and staring at beautiful male and female butts on the beach, flirting with everyone that you want than being committed and restricted to boring strolls and home cooking in rooms to let. They set the score for a nagging-free summer and they are perfectly fine with it.

Most of them will keep the same pattern and even take it to the next level. Other than one night stands, they are capable of starting new relationships, spend the lonely winter coupled, make plans, and promises only to wait for the next summer in order to break up again. And so the story goes. Some others might as well return to their ex’s after the crazy summer because now they are ready for commitment.  They can literally drive Freud nuts.

Pretty, pretty please, next time that someone decides to break up with you in June, do humanity a favor and print their picture on a wanted poster, so as to prevent future victims from further suffering…

Author: Tina Barbatsalou

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