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You know how the saying usually goes – in our toughest times we see who is there for us and who isn’t. I’m sure that almost every single one of us has experienced that either the easy way or the hard way.

But you know also when you get to see who is there for you? In your happiest times. And you see not only who is there by your side- you see also who smiles with your happiness.

You don’t believe me yet? When was the last time you delivered some awesome news to someone close to you? Don’t tell me you’ve never been able to distinguish between someone that is truly happy for you, and someone who pretends to be – this is what body language is for, along with our facial expressions.

See what I did there? I tried, I really tried. I guess it’s just the psychologist in me.

Me, and my nature as a psychologist, will tell you this: if you want to see who is really happy for you in the good times, just have them next to you and observe them. Observe – because people may hide their words, but they’ve forgotten a long time ago that their faces reveal everything there is to know about them, everything they’re trying to hide, almost every single time. You can see it in their will and satisfaction to stand by you. You can see it in their true smile and in their gentle look of theirs that says “Pal, I’m really proud of you”.

You see it when they go out of their way for you to buy you something to celebrate the current occasion; money of course, is never the issue. And the celebration, has to be damn awesome and deeply personal- because most of the times, the people that are happy for you have known you your whole life. You grew up with them, and you shared almost everything. It wasn’t even long ago when all of you were playing in the park as kids, and later sitting at a bench discussing your  issues as teenagers.

And now, you’re on to your next step; you’re talking about jobs, colleges and diplomas. Adolescence has passed, and now you’re welcoming the most terrifying phase of human life: adulthood.

You know what? You’ll be fine; as long as you have these specific people in your life, you’ll be damn fine. After all, what is there to be afraid about when your people got your back? If you’re that lucky, nothing. Honestly, absolutely nothing bad can happen.

And in case you have other people that try to pin you down, don’t worry; name one single person who hasn’t. Their bitterness makes you bitter; and it’s not worth it. And it doesn’t stop there- they make you lose your focus.

Don’t you think it’s time to relocate all your energy to the people that are really there for you? Forget that bitch that says mean things about you behind your back. And along with her, forget all these pretentious assholes that do nothing less than faking their way in and out of your life. Stop and open your eyes- life is too short to spend it in negativity; or even getting busy with it.

Make your priority those who make you a priority; simple, to the point, and extremely promising. Not only for you, but also for your future. I know; one may find many justifications about why you shouldn’t cut ties with lots of people. But you’ve got to ask yourself, is it really worth it? I bet it’s not. You really don’t have all the time in the world.

Many of us spend our time with the wrong people – and the sad part sometimes is that we don’t seem to care. You may have your reasons; good for you. Keep them. Just be reminded later that you don’t get to be upset and disappointed when you experience frustration, misery and loneliness. Deep down you know it – you also know your people. The real people my friend, not the shitty ones.

Do you want to hear something else? Shit gets old.
There, I said it!

And when you realize that, it might be a good –or an excellent– idea to keep your people close to you.

It might also a very good –scratch that, I mean marvelous– idea to tell all the shitty ones to go fuck themselves.

Author: Victoria A. Dimou

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