So, you’ve been in a relationship with this great guy/girl for some time now. You’ve had your ups and downs, you’ve hit your stride and now you’re better than ever – a couple straight out of some cheesy feel-good musical. Breaking up does not sound like a real possibility in the foreseeable future, so, sooner or later, you are bound to have The Conversation. At one of your happiest moments and while you’re on a sweet, dizzying, treacherous endorphin high, one of you is bound to drop the bomb.
“Hey – why don’t we move in together?”
At first, your reflexive (and goddamn justified) reaction is to get cold feet. Move in together? Really? What’s the next step – have a fuckin’ child?
And then s/he starts nagging as adorably as humanly possible, and you know you’re screwed six ways to Sunday, because the moving-in-together thing starts to sound appealing to you too.
“It’s nothing”, you tell yourselves and each other, “we’ve been practically living together for a while now, what’s the big fuss about?”
And you start apartment hunting, blissfully oblivious to how brutally moving in together shakes even the best of relationships to the core.
The blow dealt to the relationship, see, is the equivalent of getting hit by a goddamn freight train. That carries toxic waste. And is on fire. And on its period. And has parents that want to visit. And they hate you.
No matter what, there’s one thing for sure; you poor fucks didn’t think this through well enough.
Now, I’m not necessarily saying you shouldn’t, but let’s get one thing straight; Illidan was right on this one – you are not prepared!
It doesn’t matter how well you think you know your partner. By living in the same house 24/7/365, you’re going to find out things about them you’d both prefer they stayed a thrice-locked secret. I’d offer you a couple of possible examples, but why spoil the surprise? You’ll find out soon enough yourselves!
In fact, I’ll skip the logistic nightmare that is a shared home, along with the total absence of personal space (you thought rubbing one out was tricky in your parents’ place? Get ready to reconsider). Let’s say you make a really good tag-team with your significant other and beat the living-under-the-same-roof monster into submission.
Well, tomcats and pussycats, that’s where the real tricky part begins.
How do you expect to keep the spark alive, when routine has set in?
How significant is your significant other to you, after all, when they’re (finally) always there for you? When they never get out of your face for long enough to actually miss them?
Moving in with your partner isn’t for every couple. It’s a great test of mettle for your relationship, and you must be fully prepared to accept that maybe you’re NOT tight enough with your guy or girl to make it.
And you must also be together for the other scary (scarier?) outcome.
You may find out you fit together so well, that you have to shift the focus of your plans from “midterm” to “long term”.
You may find out that you’re fit to be much more than just lovers, but best buds, roommates, drinking buddies, chore tag-team – a happy army of two.
You may discover that you’ve found a person who that even makes your daily routine a happy, exciting adventure – and what better way is there to know that they’re the right one for you?
Take it from me – these things only happen once in a blue moon. If you do turn out to be one (I mean two – okay, you get it) of these chosen few, make sure you do what’s humanly possible to keep what you have.
You’re not likely to find it again anytime soon.