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Sexy.

Now that I have your attention let’s take a look at what being sexy is.

In today’s media world of online news, images and hyped headlines, is it any wonder we are flooded with an information overload and expectations of what –dare I use the word– “normal” sexy is? Let me explain.

We are all swamped by opinions and stereotypes deemed to be sexy “normal”. For example, I live in Australia, where sexiness is a tall blonde girl, around 22 years old, dark with a soft suntan, in a very tiny bikini walking along a beach with white sand and crystal clear water. Don’t get me wrong; the beaches in Australia are the best in the world in my opinion, but that’s another topic for another day. 

So, a beach babe is sexy, no doubt about it, however, if this said beach babe had a visible physical disability, for example a twisted toe, would she still be sexy? If she had burns on her suntanned body would she still be sexy?

In my opinion, yes she would, because sexiness is not a look, or a size, or a vibe; it’s an attitude. It’s our own attitude that creates our sexy prowess. Self-awareness and self-care is your secret to your sexiness vs. self importance and extreme narcissism; because the latter is ugliness at its core.

Evolution hasn’t defined sexiness. The media has, society has, the diet industry has, and, of course, the porn industry has. These industries have made billions conditioning us with scripted and edited versions of what their producers envision sexy should look like. These select few people have the power, with their controlled and edited images, to have our brains washed and soaked with their beliefs. Their marketing techniques –such as airbrushing, photoshopping, soft filters and lighting– on camera angles, to do away with body bumps and physical flaws, have won us over for decades. And the true image of physical beauty has been lost somewhere along the way.

A double D cleavage, or bulging biceps and a six pack, can all be enhanced by make up, surgical implants, steroids and imagery; to name a few. But sexiness is a human trait that starts from within. Sexiness is not cosmetic like we are led to believe. The adages of “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and “eyes are the window to the soul” may be old fashioned, however, we are human beings who rely on our own feelings and senses to connect our thoughts to our perceptions. Our brain is truly our sexiest organ.

Sexiness is all about confidence and wearing it proudly like your child’s arms around your neck. It’s not a dress size or a bikini body… it’s about believing in yourself and your ability to be unashamedly you.

So, I say it right now, in this moment while you are reading these lines. You are sexy regardless of what you’ve been told and dictated to believe. You have a choice, a decision –a way to be. No one can define you; only you can do that. So if you have a problem with feeling sexy and keep comparing yourself to the “normal”, guess what? You will forever be a slave to the expectations of others. Give yourself the love you desire from someone else. Your body is a vehicle to your sexiness, create it, look after it, love it and your mind will follow.

Remember energy is everything in the universe. Your sexiness is energy you make and produce with your self-awareness and self-esteem. It’s all in your hands, and thoughts, to make it overwhelming, irresistible, charismatic, inviting and exclusive. You can always put on a bikini and get a spray on tan to look sexy, but you can also don a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, or whatever you look your best in, and you will be sexy. But keep in mind a natural smile is the sexiest thing you can wear; anytime, anywhere.

Sexiness is all about attitude.

Author: E.J. Mason

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