When we hear the phrase “soul mate” there’s usually one person that pops in our head. A lover; new, old, past, or even an imaginary, future one. We associate the word with someone who’s to be our romantic interest for life, usually forgetting all the other qualities a soulmate is thought to have. To make it simple, we overlook the mere meaning of the word: someone with whom we connect, soul to soul.

Do you see the word love anywhere in there?

Soulmates can come in many forms. Of course, the most common one is that of a lover; a person we want to settle down with, someone we love. But soulmates are not always that – a romantic interest. They can come to you in the hardest of time in the form of best friends.

Yes, you read that right. Your best friend can, as well, be your soulmate. And why not? By common definition, when we refer to someone as our “soulmate” we mean someone who absolutely gets us. Someone who can make our day without much effort, a person we trust blindly and love unconditionally. Someone, we think that came to our life for our reason. It’s that one person that when you’re with the world is just a bit more bearable, your smile just a little bit brighter and your heart a little bit lighter. Rings any bells?

It’s easier when your best friend is your platonic other half. You can be as gross as you want, as stupid as you want, as crazy as you want around them and they won’t ever say a word about it. They will only bring it up when they decide it’s time to ruin your reputation as a composed and well-mannered human being. And you will hate them – for about ten minutes.

Your best friend knows everything about you: All your secrets, every dark, disgusting or cute detail about your life as a kid, they’ve heard it about a million times. Heck, they were present in most of your favorite memories and they were the ones who comforted you when you were at your worst. They’re your number one call and they are the poor souls that you woke up in the middle of the night because the painting hanging on the wall was staring at you.

Your best friend won’t ever ask you to have kids. Well, unless you’re both over forty and you’ve made a pact to adopt together because let’s face it, you’re dying to find out who would be the good cop/parent in your fictional family. That aside, your friends give you more freedom than a lover ever will. They won’t bug you about your comings and goings. You get all the love, attention, and care you need without the jealousy, the judgmental mothers-in-law, and the annoying little siblings.

Of course, a friend, no matter how loved or cherished they are, can never replace a lover. They won’t give you the same rush of adrenaline, the same straight dose of dopamine, the same kind of happiness your lover will.

Still, when you meet someone that you feel deeply connected to it’s a thing taken out from fairytale. Even if the prince doesn’t kiss you at midnight and is, in fact, a princess who steals your favorite sweater time and time again.

There are some people that were brought together by fate. Their bond is one to be cherished and celebrated and its meaning, even though not romantic, should not be dismissed as something secondary. They’re equally as important as any lover; and sometimes even more so.

Because you know that they won’t walk out on you on the first setback. Instead, they’ll grab your hand and pull you back up. And they’ll do it with so much love and kindness that you’ll be able to overlook the sassy comments.

So, think about it.

I’ve found my soul mate; my best friend. Are you still looking for yours?

Author: Matina Tsouma

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