There are some couples out there that are borderline perfect. They have great communication and they get along exceptionally well. They always want to be around each other, they’ve got their common life planned and they’re working towards aligned goals; they are a bit like Ken and Barbie in real life – minus the blond hair. Truly, these heaven sent couples are enviable, at least when it comes to what nowadays we’d call ‘relationship goals’.

But we’re nothing like them.

Every time we fight it’s like WWIII. The whole neighborhood knows about my issues with your mother and I bet that even the dog that lives three blocks away is aware of the fact that you absolutely hate that guy I work with. We’re unable to keep quiet or simply compromise; with us, it always has to be grandee.

I have a bad temper and you’re way too selfish to let me have my way. We’re both sufficiently stupid when it comes to solving relationship problems and we have at least one big fight each week; otherwise it feels like the balance of the universe has been disturbed. This looks abnormal to outsiders; what sort of lovers fight like that? But, to us, it’s just a game. 

Yell with me, scream with me, slam your fist on table and fire back. Load your gun and aim but stand your ground. I’m not afraid of getting hurt, I know how to deal with it. A few scratches are worth the fight, if it means peace will bloom from it; besides, what would life be without a bit of spice?

I love seeing you angry. I love knowing I’m the one who drives you crazy. You find my angry face sexy. I revel in seeing the glint in your eyes as you’re trying to keep your cool. You do your best to push me off the edge just to take pride in breaking my limits. You just love throwing me off my balance and shattering my cool and collected exterior. Equally bad as yours, my favorite part is when you finally cave in and all hell breaks loose, even if it’s just for an hour or so.

I know this may sound weird, but I promise I’m not officially bonkers. It’s just that every fight proves that we love each other enough to stay and not walk away, even when things get tough. Sure, maybe in the process faces turn red and harsh words fly around but, in the end, it doesn’t really matter because we don’t actually mean them. It’s our unique way of igniting our passion, making our blood boil, all the while letting out our bottled up feelings.

And, really now, a good fight is needed once in a while, because holding on to your anger just makes it grow and it ends up destroying you from within, like a slow but deadly poison. 

Those who hear us screaming at each other worry that we’re on the verge of a break up but they have no idea that’s not the case. We know better, darling, so don’t be afraid of our fights and yelling. I’ll slam the door and you’ll punch the wall and, before we know it, the match will be moved to our bed. And that way we both get to win.

Now I don’t mean that couples should fight all the time to keep their passion burning – and, surely, that’s not exactly an example to follow. But, to put it simply, when you can’t avoid a fight, at least make it count. Let your feelings out and don’t be afraid to be loud. Sometimes getting the message through is tough and yes, you’ll get frustrated and angry but in the end you’ll be able to say that you found a solution – together. Stay and fight if it’s necessary. It’s not love If you just walk away it’s not true love you’re feeling – and your so-called happiness is nothing but fake.

Author: Matina Tsouma

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