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There are many people out there with many different sexual orientations. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual even metrosexuals have made in appearance in the list. Recently, sapiosexuals made it to the central stage and they’re here to stay!

No it’s not some sort of Harry Potter spell. The word sapiosexual derives from the Latin “sapiens” which means human. Sapiosexuals are those who are attracted to one’s intelligence; something that often overpowers their appearance. Though, don’t get confused, thinking that your partner has to be smarter is nowhere near being a sapiosexual.

The term sapiosexual was originally used by a writer Darren Stalder (also known as “Wolfieboy”) who claims to have invented the term back in 1998. But it wasn’t until around 2008 that the term really took off as a self-identifier. It was used to describe a person who’s more attracted to the mind than the body. This sounds poetic; an undeniable attraction that goes beyond physical specifics.

The saying “smart is the new sexy” was just a saying until science started supporting it based on scientific research. Diana Rabb, a PhD in transpersonal psychology reports “The brain is the largest sex organ. Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person.”

Do you get turned on by a friendly debate? Do you love it when people try to flirt by talking about literature and art? Then you can proudly say you’re a sapiosexual! People of this specific orientation will appreciate a good sense of humor more than a six pack, knowledge of astronomy over a toned rack and prefer a witty answer over a fat wallet. They want their partner to posses an inquiring, impudent and intriguing mind!

For some the way to the heart is through the stomach, but for them, everything passes through the tight sieve of the mind. And if you can pass their tests you’re most likely up for a wild ride. Because a person like that will torture you and you will love it. They’ll say no and shake down your belief system – just for kicks and giggles. They’ll make you reevaluate your ideals and help you see the world form a different perspective.

With them, your mind will be constantly racing. You’ll have to be a quick thinker and if you’re not they’ll turn you into one. If a sapiosexual decides to date you, you’ll have to deal with a sharp tongue and even sharper brain.

Sadly nowadays sapiosexuality has taken a180 degrees turn. It’s portrayed mostly as a clique in which Harvard students diss on everyone else. It is used as a way to limit your dating list. Sure dumb is never cute and no relationship can last when you’re dating a doll. Ken and Barbie may be pretty, but plastic always melts. Still, doesn’t it all seem a bit too pretentious?

“Oh I’m so special that looks don’t matter to me at all.” We all know that’s a blunt lie. Sure, maybe for some six packs or full lips are not features they find sexy. Hell, plump legs and round stomachs are a huge turn on for people out there. But even when you find attractive things that most people don’t, that doesn’t make you special or different. It just means you get aroused by a different set of body parts.

Also, being so hung-up on intelligence shows how closed-minded people are. The stereotypical ‘smart’ kid is not what sapiosexuallity is all about. There are eight different types of intelligence and you’re probably crossing off about six of them because they didn’t do so well in school.

All these narrow definitions take us back to school days, where someone was always labeled as “the nerd” or “the geek”, even if they weren’t the smartest kid in class.

Sapiosexuals have a key point when insisting that looks aren’t everything, but the way the term is twisted, it just divides people into categories. It separates thinkers from feelers, pushes creative people to the side and deifies the traditionally smart ones. Sapiosexuallity is all about thinking outside of the box so stop using it as an excuse to diminish those who are not as bright as you.

Author: Matina Tsouma

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