What’s the fuss all about? Why are you in such a hurry to go somewhere, be with someone, build something, buy something, and in general “do” something as if your life depends on it? Unless it does; so you can stop reading right here.

Okay. Now that you’re still reading, why are we all in such a haste to put ourselves in situations we will certainly regret in the future? Call it insecurity, call it “the fault in our stars” call it the perfect time to relax and enjoy the perks of stability.

Be that a marriage, a pregnancy, a move-in with a significant other; big decisions that come after a minimum time of thinking are almost never successful. In the past, during the times of parents and grandparents, we often hear that things were not perfect, but “ultimately, we made it work,” “we didn’t love each other but we learned to” and all that sweet stuff.

Please re-read the phrases above and answer the following question though:

How healthy are they? How healthy is it to be with someone you are not really sure you want to, to patch up all that might have come up with an even larger commitment?

I will be honest, I decided to write about this article as I was watching How I Met your Mother. In a specific episode where Robin and Ted decide to move in together after a large fight.

Dear reader, since you and your significant other are on it, why not also get married next time you argue about the ingredients on the pizza you are ordering, or have a child while realizing that your relationship is failing in order to “fix” it?

Oh wait, you might have already have done that. Sorry, my bad. Buy a house then..?

People are strange, I know -even Doors occasionally sing that- and I’m sure you all consider yourselves “normal”. That is unless you found yourself somewhere in the examples I mentioned above. Then you need to seriously reconsider your life choices up to this point; including your identity and your reflection in the mirror.

Are you one person, or do you identify through someone else, someone who fills your loneliness with (welcome) noise, but who really is not exactly what you were looking for?

A cliché we often hear is that we make our own happiness. While that might be true -and quite possibly applies in most cases- it is also true that we make our own hell too. At least the emotional one, and the people we surround ourselves with, is nothing more than an option. Friends are the family we choose, and to be frank there is no room at the friends’ table for the uncle that is a little bit racist and always wears the same white stained wife-beater.

SO buckle up, and next time you fight with your partner, cool your head, and get a grip. I’m not saying break up with them, but at least consider not doing a large gesture to make up. Sex is fine, it can be quite good actually. But try to avoid anything related to contracts, babies, marriages, dogs or cats.

Have a freaking Snickers. You’ll feel better.

Author: Michael Poe

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