Have I mentioned lately how much I hate certain aspects of summer? It is the season of narcissists, the season of light-headed gym people to shove their (ass)ets into our faces, and most of all, the season that, if you have not enjoyed a summer fling by the end of it, then you are considered as a social failure, a pariah, and an utterly boring person.

I abhor and consider any summer fling as ridiculous, and I have no high opinion for those that engage in such endeavors for a number of reasons I will gladly write below. Yes, I am aware you never asked me what I think, but I am a pain in the ass like that so I’ll give you a piece of my mind anyway.

If at this point you feel offended, then I am on the right track. If you think that for some reason summer is a season that we are allowed to let ourselves go emotionally and be more adventurous than in the winter, well good for you, but do not expect me to see you any more seriously once fall arrives. I firmly believe that people that have a summer “kill-switch” are not to be trusted during any time of the year, and are unsuitable for any kind of serious relationship during any season in the present or future.

I inherently despise anything, and anyone, that treats people as objects and any people that are after “experiences” and “adventures”. If it is adventures you seek to go to a warzone and feel the thrill of a bullet grazing your skull, or go help as a humanitarian volunteer in a country that is devastated by natural disasters.

And yes, I am aware that whatever is agreed upon between –or among– adults is a thing that has its own “honorable” rules, that I might advocate a rather traditional and romantic viewpoint for but… just hold on a freaking minute!

How is it possible for you to approve of your own behavior if you agree with the idea that summer is a time that you cannot commit to anything, that this season is your chance to get laid as much as humanly possible, that this is a time that no strings should be attached to you; much like a shopping spree in a huge mall with a limitless credit card.

So, ladies, gents –and whoever hates gender identities– hold your horses –and your hormones– and treat yourselves and others with some profound dignity, because this is a harsh world and no one is going to do it for you.

For those of you that broke up when spring came upon us, in hopes of finding something exhilarating during summer, I have nothing but contempt for you; you are sad examples of humanity and I really hope you find what you are looking for just to realize how hollow it is and how shallow you are.

Oh, I am sorry. Did that hurt? Did you recognize yourself as a case of the above? Maybe feeling a tiny weeny bit of remorse now?

Good. Have a good day and a nice summer.

My job here is done.

Author: Michael Poe

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