Lots and lots of great quotes on how lonely we feel at nights, on how we miss people at nights, how bad that its, how we are supposed to not miss anyone but instead be whole and independent on our own… yada yada yada…
Screw everyone and everything else. I miss you most at night .
Not because I have nothing else to do. Especially not because I am insecure.
Let’s not kid ourselves. I was insecure long before I met you. You had nothing to do with that. We haven’t spent long together. I haven’t had enough time to get used to your scent, or your body, so I know it’s not a force of habit.
You have not become a pillow that I rest my head on, your breasts have not become a source of comfort all too familiar.
And don’t get me wrong. This is a good thing.
Because I know the feelings are real and not generated out of fear of an incoming discomfort. It is a genuine longing, a real desire to feel you, touch you, listen to your breath and ultimately fall asleep with my hands wrapped around you.
Yes I am a helpless romantic, I understand. But deep in that shell of toughness and badass attitude you have you are one too.
During the day we socialize with other people, we joke, we laugh, we have fun and we are not afraid to engage our affairs alone; it doesn’t matter that we spend time away from everyone -or even that one person- if we have to.
See the day works funny like that. The daylight has a unique power to actually hide a lot of things, a lot of things a t-shirt and a good pair of jeans can hide, a lot of things a pretty dress can diverge one’s attention from.
The night is different. It’s relentless. If it was a woman, it would be a femme fatale, one that would not hesitate a single second before it would take your soul away from your body and leave you scarred and madly in love.
I miss you at night not because I need you like a drug addict needs his fix, no matter how sickly poetic that sounds. I miss you because I want you, in ever which possible way.
I miss you because you make the black of night more interesting, more colorful, because I don’t need the light do find your body, to feel its shape and taste your lips.
Because even if it is pitch dark in the room, your eyes are radiant as ever, I can see them shining under an uncanny light and I know I can touch you if I only stretch out my hand.
Alas that cannot happen often. So all I’m left with is your imprint on the mattress, the scent of you in my gray hoodie and a message in the phone saying goodnight or good morning.
It is terrible to be left alone in your thoughts you know. Yes eventually all is well, everything turns out as we hope to: or not.
All that matters is that until the sunrise I will be thinking of you so loudly that my crazy housemate will be drowned by my thoughts of you; just like I will almost go crazy from his schizophrenic dialogues in front of mirrors.
Please let the sun rise.
I need to get back to you.
The nights seem to last forever without you by my side…