Say that you’re a social butterfly. Or at least you pretend to be one. You know, you have your way with people, that bright smile and pleasant persona that is captivating and at the same time hard to resist. You may have picked up a thing or two working in service positions, customer service, or even from being around a lot of people and navigating their interest towards you. In other words, for all intents and purposes you’re a people-person and your presence rarely goes unnoticed.

But it’s tiring isn’t it?

There are some weekends when the antisocial, homely voice inside you starts yawning and complaining and you just can’t resist. You want to stay in, or to phrase it a bit closer to your feelings, you need to stay in. For your own best interest, or simply because sometimes being around other people exhausts you and makes you miserable.

In the list of things I could advise you about, this probably would not be close to the Top 20. But here we are and I will do my best to get you out of this tight situation.

So let’s put our heads together and see how you can avoid going out on a weekend: let’s create the “stay at home” emergency kit for those days that we all have, and yet, always deny exist.

The first step to make sure that the weekend will go well is to confirm that those closest to you won’t start bothering you. I do not mean that annoying person from work who keeps texting you, or that other one which you’re not sure if their flirting is ever going to stop, or their implicit invite to flirt with them.

(If you have experienced any of the above at least once in your life you know what I mean)

So make a call to those you think care about you but get off your back and try a white lie. You’re very busy this weekend, something came up and you need to work from home. If your job does not include such possibility, then first of all you’re a lucky bastard. But anyway, if it doesn’t then make sure you “get” something that’s contagious but harmless. Like a cold, or a sore throat. I would strongly advise against an STI. Gives the wrong message.


–Always play it safe–

(End of PSA)

So now your people theoretically don’t worry about you. The next thing you want to do is shake the rest of the people off. Those that you don’t care about, and probably wouldn’t mind if they never talked to you again. The solution for that is quite simple really. It requires one thing:

Switch your phone to quiet mode.

Now the final step is important and takes some effort/preparation.

Are you paying attention kiddo? Good because I’m about to drop some wisdom to you.

Get a bottle of your favorite beverage, alcoholic or not and a couple of frozen pizzas and candy. Preferably from the convenience store around the corner so you can go with your pajamas. Turn your TV on, let your cat get comfy on you. Feel its warmth. Feel its purr-iness all over you.

Feels like heaven doesn’t it?

See you next week…

Author: Michael Poe

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