Every relationship starts out with the prospect of being something more; not just dating and hanging out with one another. Some may want things to stay low profile and unfold as time passes, having no certain view –or not wanting a specific outcome– in mind. But I think most desire for things to escalate up to a precise moment in the future; the relationship becoming more serious, where commitments of whatever kind are made. Exclusive dating, engagement or even marriage and a family may be in their books.
But before such a serious life changing turn, don’t you think living together first is a must?
Sure enough, you get to know each other by going out together, meeting each others’ friends and family; spending time together in whichever sense. But is this enough to really understand and learn your lover’s traits? How they get when something bad happens, when they are happy, angry, frustrated and so on.
By living together not just on random days in a week or once in a while, but through cohabitation, is the only way to really get into each others’ minds, experience and realize how binding your lives together will be. It doesn’t have to be just marriage; you can still be together and have a family and children without it. Anyhow what is marriage really? It’s just a sheet of paper stating that you belong to each other exclusively, but the real essence is feeling this, deep in your soul and core that you belong together and this paper won’t change anything if feelings stay true.
Sharing the house chores, splitting the bills and taking responsibilities to care for your house helps in defining your significant other’s attitude and way of thinking and operating. Your other half becomes your home, where you feel safe in their arms, knowing that you can deal with anything that comes your way.
Maybe having a pet together; a kitty or a puppy. Caring for it and loving it as if it was your own child. It could give you, in a sense, the view of how it would be to be parents together. I am not saying it’s the same thing – not by a long shot – but in a sense it’s the same thing. It’s a being you both love and care about and you are ready to make sacrifices for its welfare. This can give you inside on the others sensitive side, something you might not have gotten a glimpse of yet.
Sure there will be fights; lots of them actually, more rather than if you weren’t living in the same place. But isn’t this the point of it? You get to realize how each of you handles the negative things, if you will hold a grudge or let things go and just keep them locked inside. Or if you will talk things out and find a solution that benefits both and go on without this leaving a black spot in the relationship.
Through this, sharing a place and responsibilities, you find out things you wouldn’t otherwise. Might surprise you in a good way or a bad one. But either way, all things considered, everything has both sides. And it’s good to know all of it; it helps you prevent unrecoverable mistakes.
You may find that you cannot be with each other; your characters collide in a way that cannot be. But on the other side, you may find that you really do belong together. You complete each other and this will be the best part!
Moving towards your future having no doubts about the decision you made, and just feeling the joy and certainty that your future will be everything you wanted it to be.