pirtisi_re2305

I love you.

I love the whole you, from the inside to the outside, yourself with all your securities and insecurities, your positive and negative parts; I love you deeply, honestly – unconditionally.

You know, when I met you I could never imagine how my life would be changed and how important you would become to me. You reminded me -and you keep reminding- me what true love is and how it feels when your whole self wants something desperately.

You reminded me of the ways a kiss can awaken dreams; you showed me what it feels like to ward off embarrassment when it comes to passion and to find love instead of the overused title of a relationship. But most of all you showed me how it feels to have someone holding your hand, your feelings, and your heart, making me feel secure in your arms.

I don’t remember if I ever told you what makes me feel this way but –even if I don’t have to tell you– I have the need to write this down; it is the little things that you do that say “I love you” to me, every day, without you actually speaking the words out loud. Our secret codes and ways that make me fall deeper in love with you every single day.

Your kisses, those particular ones you tenderly give me; your good morning and goodnight kisses, your hello and goodbye ones, the ones that say “Thank you”, “Sorry”, and the unexpected ones for no reason. Your sweet kisses when you stir in your sleep and you have no idea that I feel and remember every single of them. Those are the ones that say “I love you”.

It is you, being there for me every single day; your support and faith that make me believe in myself too. Remember the day I had to present my dissertation and I was fully stressed? I have never told you that having you acting as my audience the night before gave me so much strength, but it’s about time that I did. You bring out the best in me baby.

It is your soothing, calming smile when you try to reassure my worries and fears during my bad days; it is your ability to see in my eyes that something is wrong and hold me tight until it starts getting better -without speaking at all-.

And it is your little drawn heart next to “Buy me a shaving foam” on your sticky notes and the heart emoticon in your messages when we have nothing left to say.

It is our inside jokes that everyone considers silly but only we can understand what we are talking about and laughing about.

It’s the gazes that say more than the mouth does; as for example that gaze shouting “Help me, I’m dying of boredom here” when we were at that boring and tiring get-together and, even if the mouth was saying “What a wonderful time we have with you”, a look at me was enough to exactly make you understand how I was feeling; and it was even better when you returned the same glance and poked my legs under the table so no one noticed that we were communicating a way to flee the scene.

It is when your hand holds mine; when we go for walks or when you don’t want to leave it while you’re driving and you’re changing the gears. It is the short kisses while we’re waiting at traffic lights and the times you increase the volume of my favorite songs played on the radio.

It is in the times you finally choose to do things for my sake, just because you want to make me happy; yeah, I totally remember the times you were watching romantic films with me even if you hate them and I also bring to my mind the times you budged about watching your football match just because I begged you to go for a walk.

It is that spark in your eyes when I enthusiastically describe my success or a dream coming true and the hurrahs and hugs that follow like we were little children and someone just gave us our favorite toy.

And, also it is this repentant gaze or the unexpected hug after a fight; it is you when you drive out to my house during the night in order to make things better and the times you bring my favorite chocolate with in order to “sweeten” the situation.

It is your desire to share everything with me like I am your best friend, your anchor, your soul mate too. It is also you letting me give you my all and letting me be there for you, making me a better person only for you and never doubting “us” at all! It is our mutual happiness for each one’s happiness and our mutual anxiety or worries for each other’s worries.

It is in the million tiny things you don’t even know you’re doing.

And I love them; each and every one of them, and you even more for them. Because I’m just thinking: what’s the meaning of saying “I love you” out loud when it is in the subject of every single conversation? The syllables are not enough to include this all-consuming everything; so just let them fall down, and let our actions speak.

Author: Tonia Pirtsi

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