Most of the time, and in most parts of our lives, when something defective arrives, something good goes away.
Thus, the same also happens in each and every relationship. It doesn’t really take a lot of things for a dream relationship to turn into a nightmarish one.
Me being more clear about what I’m referring to takes one only single word.
I’m sure you got the point, right?
Well, a little bit of jealousy in relationships is good, they say because it shows that your other half is afraid to lose you. It also shows the amount of love your partner has for you and how much they care about you.
Okay, agreed; a bit of jealousy may actually mean interest.
But what happens when all this innocent jealously reaches the form of an obsessive love? Pathological jealously can simply transform anything healthy into a real deal illness.
And suddenly love starts to feel like it isn’t enough.
The way you’re dressed when you go out, the people you talk to, the minutes that pass by until you respond to their calls or their texts, your social media’s username and password or even a random, unconscious gaze at somebody who incidentally crossed the street in your line sight, all at once, become the measure of your love and your interest towards the other person.
And so the story goes on, and as jealously gets more and more intense, the fear of the person who faces it expands. Because this is exactly how it feels when you have to deal with pathological jealously or, allow me to call it, jealously disease.
Fear takes over love and you unconsciously start living just to keep your beloved one satisfied. In the beginning, you usually follow their desires because you love them and all you want is as few fights as possible. But, as the things get crazy and crazier, you, all of a sudden, realize that you’re playing all alone in a game led by others as you only are someone else’s prize.
What really bonds this kind of relationship, my dear is more fear rather than love; fear to demand your own space, time, and desires. Of course, you love your mate and you want them satisfied, but at some point, all of this creates a pressure not even the most patient person can handle.
And, on the other hand, what happens with the person who is jealous? Obsessive jealously takes over their mind, it blinds them. Everything and everyone around them becomes an enemy they have to fight in order to keep the love of their life.
Undoubtedly, they love their significant other. Maybe they just use the wrong way to show it. But, forcing the other person, going to such extremes, in order to express their dedication to you really transforms you into an insecure person, who is scared of the fact that everyone else is better than them so they feel in danger of losing their love.
Admit it or not, this kind of obsessive love is an illness; at least in my mind.
And let me explain why; if your beloved one is going to cheat on you because they noticed or have a crush on someone else, they’ll do it anyway, whether you are jealous or not. If they are going to chat on social media because they want to meet someone new and you have their account information, they’ll find another way. If they stared at someone crossing the street because they liked them, they’ll find another one to look at or like one day, simply because they’re missing something; something that may not have anything to do with you.
In a few words, you cannot protect the love of your life through jealously because it is, in itself a reason which makes people feel unprotected. If you want to show your care or your interest, use love and you’ll be left surprised by the results.
Pathological jealously comes to make any and every trace of trust vanish and makes love wither as well.
And what the hell are you doing in a relationship in which fear, gazes, clothes, surrounding people, numbers of messages and calls express your love instead of real actions of love my dears?
This is something I’ll let you think about yourselves.