Is there a person on this earth who hasn’t had the experience of being asked if anything is wrong, only to respond: “No, everything’s fine”? And who hasn’t been inquired, at least once in their life, where all their happiness and positivity come from, only to say: “Aw I’m excited, this and this, etc. happened to me”?
Hmm, let me guess; everyone!
It is something quite common not only in our days. People can easily hide their sadness behind a fake smile or a happy mask. In fact, which one of us hasn’t done it, at least once, in the past as well?
And, on the other hand, as easy as it is to hide your pain, it’s just as difficult becomes to conceal your happiness. Those bright eyes, that glow on your whole face, the little bounce in your movement can fool no one; not even yourself.
The conclusion to it all is that it takes a lot of effort to keep your bliss a secret, but when it’s about pain, fake smiles come so naturally to all of us. Have you ever wondered why this happens?
My first thought is about fear; fear of revealing our vulnerability.
Happiness expresses pleasure, right? You cannot resist it and why the hell do so if it’s something we all are constantly searching for, anyway? Our whole life is a hunt and a collection of happy moments.
And also, what other people feel towards you when you are happy is either joy or jealously; to them it’s not a big enough deal to care too much really.
Now, let’s think the same about sadness. It creates a feeling of weakness and most of the time you are tired of trying to constantly explain what happened to you. It’s also so much easier to deal with it, all on your own, and at the same time to protect yourself, right? This way, no one knows when your feelings are hurt and nothing puts you down in the eyes of the outside world.
This way no one also feels sorry for you or pities you, and together with your pain, you achieve hiding your vulnerability as well.
No harm, no foul. You wear your smiling, funny mask and you keep on going then.
But the truth is that the only person you truly hurt this way is yourself, my dear reader. Because it’s simply as okay to be sad as it is to be happy.
You owe no one performance of being funny or happy neither it’s your responsibility to smile in order to make others feel more comfortable. You deserve to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is to feel.
And if people try to calm your sadness down by telling you to get over it and cheer up, because you ruin the mood of the group or because you’re no longer funny and it gets awkward, then, let it be awkward.
Fake smiles, fake masks, or being the soul of the party are only ways to escape. That’s why most of you choose to pretend, instead of admitting your real feelings. It’s easier right?
But sadness is one of the many experiences we must have in this life; when we honesty let it in and let it out, it will be one of the truest things that can happen in our life.
Believe it or not, there’s a beauty in pain that even happiness cannot touch. It is all those we have risked, we have loved and we have lived together but, somewhere in between, we have lost in some way. So, parts of it will live inside us forever.
It is not the same with happiness; that’s why we shine so bright every time we find it. It’s intense, quick, and thus, difficult to be hidden.
There’s a fundamental belief that being happy and hiding your sadness shows your strength. I totally disagree. Being strong is to be able to admit all of your feelings – both the good and bad ones. Being strong means being in the position to cope with pain as well as deal with happiness.
As you are allowed to unleash your bliss, so are you permitted to live your sadness. In reality, it’s the only way to totally free yourself from it.
Try it and you will see it.
Do it for yourself.