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What do I want from my relationship?

A question, the answer of which, is the holy grail of every living human being starting his or her emotional life. Thoughts taking up so much space in our heads, questions which most of the times we fail to give the right answer to, making our lives miserable. Well sometimes we succeed but nevertheless, it’s not always what we want; it’s a combination of time, self-awareness or what the needs of our partner are at that certain moment.

Each and every thing in our life, in order for them to be true and real, has to start with us — and, to be more specific, it has to start from within. To ask such a question and get an answer, is like being in front of a mirror and asking what you want from yourself first.

At this point, you might wonder who does such a thing? Most of people, you know, do not realize what they want for themselves. And maybe this applies to you as well. Well if the answer you are thinking right now is this, I believe it’s time to reconsider and rewire yourself. Difficult, I know, but what do you have to lose anyway; especially if your emotional history is between cuts and bruises?

Should we take a deep breath and dive? For yourself, you demand to be treated with love, honesty, and tenderness. You want to be heard and, in difficult situations, you also want someone to cuddle you. Or you just want someone to understand you and tell you that everything is going to be okay even though things might get nasty. You want independence, respect for your privacy and have fun and enjoy your existence to the utmost; in every way you desire. Well, can you apply those core values to your relationship?

You surely want someone who isn’t afraid to be sensitive and vulnerable. You know, that good morning text or the one that asks you how you are in the afternoon. Or the simple request someone may have for you to text them when you get home, so they know you’re safe at home. You want someone who displays interest, kindness, and willingness. Who loves you for the way you are and not the way they want you to be. Someone who can listen and communicate. And most importantly, the one who takes your thoughts and opinions seriously, and doesn’t just brush them off; someone who takes you as seriously as you take them. Who you can tell whatever is running through your head and every nuance of your day.

The one who do not demand your every moment and has a life on their own. Who knows how to respect your privacy and can be happy for your successes or be pampering for your difficult moments. And last but not least, you want the one who can identify that there is a different type of sex, depending the time, the moment and your feelings.

Let’s be honest here! We all want these things from our relationship. Some more than others. Depending on where we are at the exact moment of our life. There isn’t any magical way to accomplish any of it. You can start slowly and move your way up. Step by step, every time by communicating and truly investing your time and energy on it. And if you fail it’s okay. You are only human.

But if you succeed, you would have a trip of a lifetime!

Author: Chris Kokkinelis

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