We like to believe that, as women, the new age and change in lifestyle has evolved us. Our relationships with men are no longer how they were presented to us and we have finally moved out of the kitchen. Women of the 21st century are now equal to men in many ways and it’s a characteristic of the modern era that we would most definitely like to keep. One of the things that comes with the female power era is the demand for respect.

Yes, women in the good olden days used to bow their heads and accept everything that was said to them and about them. This is not the case anymore; or is it?

As much as we try to now break off relationships as mature people, and though it may seem so at the time, you will always find those specific people that forget to stick to one of the basic rules of breaking up peacefully – respect one another.

Apparently, it seems that many people believe that mutual respect comes as part of a romantic relationship and once the romance is gone then there is no problem to toss respect in the bin along with everything else. That’s not how it works. Respect does belong to lovers, it belongs to every human relationship you’ve ever had and should be part of every kind of relationship you will have in the future.

There are others, though, who argue that you no longer care about respect since the other person no longer has feelings for you. That’s wrong – and you know why?

Because respect lasts a lot longer than love, sweetie.

You may not want someone anymore, but since that person was in your life for some time, has shared quite a few personal moments with you, has woken up and slept next to you, then (unless you cheated on them multiple times or have in some other way betrayed them) then you should demand respect. The people who treat you right long after the end teach you a lot more things than those who treated you badly. Because it’s not a matter of feelings any more; it’s a matter of being a grown up.

Some women still believe it’s acceptable to be put down, to be degraded into nothing, simply because the person that broke up with them no longer has feelings for them.

They sit and pout after overhearing that the t-shirt she bought her ex is now his current’s favourite pyjama. They sit and listen when they’re told that the ex told everyone of her friends how she sleeps with a teddy bear at night, or let’s make things more befitting of our time, she keeps quiet even when she is called every name under the sun without that person having any actual grounds behind it.

No, causing a scene will not get you respect, but instead, it will actually take even more away. But put your chin up, stop being happy that he is mentioning your name, and simply ask to change the subject. Demand that no one speaks that way about you even if it’s just to let you know of things that someone else has said.

Don’t look to the side whenever he walks in but look at him in the eyes and smile. Without any anger or malice but keep that same feeling you had the day you broke up and give it off in your look as a kind reminder. This might not get you the said respect from the person in the end -because let’s face it, some people are assholes- but it will give you respect from everyone else around you.

A person who does not respect you after you part ways, most likely didn’t respect you when you were together either. It’s a harsh point to admit but that doesn’t mean that it’s a false one.

You are no longer in high-school sweetheart, where boys could get away with pulling your skirt down and calling you names. You are a grown ass woman and you need to start acting like one, and being beaten down by someone you actually invested time and feelings for should not be something that you pay for. It should be the other way around.

Gone are the days where ‘yes, darling’ was the only answer and real men these days want women that demand respect, because that means that they respect themselves.

Those who are looking for an emotional boxing sack shouldn’t be among your standards sweetheart.

Author: S. L. Robb

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