Please move over and let me just sit here on the couch with you; I know you don’t really want to be alone in moments like this. I am going to sit silently beside you; I’ll keep you company, I’ll comfort you, I’ll sweeten up the pain and I’ll patiently listen to everything you may or may not have to say. Let it all out and don’t hold back, because now is the moment to cry, to accuse, to curse, and to eat every unhealthy snack we have in the house: he dumped you and then he left nowhere to be found…
Unfortunately, my friend, we have been down that road before many times during the last ten years we live together, and I can play the part of the ever-present confidant very well, but I ‘m afraid you haven’t learned anything. Oh, darling, it seems that falling for the wrong guys is your field of expertise, besides your remarkable talent in home décor – transforming this tiny apartment we share into a welcoming relaxation oasis for both of us.
Sweetcheeks, you know how much I love you and you are a clever girl and all, but by now, especially with this last fella, you should have been a bit more street smart, like me. Who forgets the birthday of his “girlfriend” – three years in a row? And didn’t you ever wonder why you still haven’t met his sister?
He wasn’t the emotional type: maybe he felt intimidated by strong women? Was he just afraid of commitment? His last relationship had left him with a broken heart; that much you knew. Did he want to keep family meetings and the girlfriend apart, just to ensure a trouble-free zone, at least for the time being?
The questions were piling up in your head and remained unanswered no matter how many sleepless nights you spent, massaging them with cookie dough ice cream and Chardonnay, pouring your heart and crying your eyes out.
You wanted to play the cool chick, the free spirit who neither nags nor clings to her significant other. So you let him have his “me-time“ whenever he felt like it – and he had that urge a lot: football Saturdays with the guys, whom you never met, and yacht excursions on Sundays with his boss –also a stranger to you. I am not complaining, that way we had plenty of exciting girls’ nights (and days) out, binge-watching TV shows, cuddling up on the couch, and nibbling away our favorite treats.
Planning your summer vacation with him was a harder task than Frodo’s journey from the Shire to Mount Doom (our favorite movie to watch when he canceled on you again); for some strange reason, he was never able to make any plans with you, always afraid that something (more important than you?) might come up.
Sure, as head of Marketing he had a busy schedule, no doubt. Still, I wonder why he had more time for you at night than he had during the day. You also rarely visited him at his place, as he was always willing to come to see you (and your bed) in your –our– flat. I am a lovely roommate, I know, and he and I went along quite well, but I guess it had nothing to do with my perky nature.
My dear, it should have finally hit you right at the moment he uttered those ominous three words: “date other people”. No, it wasn’t a devious plan to test your commitment or fidelity to him. He actually meant it.
My little experience with the male gender has shown me that they are pretty plain, but in this case, simplicity does not imply stupidity, oh no. The lovely representatives of the opposite sex choose to keep things simple; they avoid aggravating complexity and keep their thoughts neatly packed away in boxes. Frankly, I admire and I envy them even more.
If they like you, you will most definitely know it. They will initiate contact, keep the communication alive and flowing, run after you, shower you with gifts, spend time with you, and let you know that they want you. They can’t hide their true feelings, I think they don’t know how to. Maybe it’s in their very nature: opposite to us females, everything is just out there, even their most delicate parts. They can’t hide their excitement or indifference for the death of them.
So maybe, you should analyze and justify less, and trust your inner voice more, as I do. Don’t ever underestimate your primal instinct. If it feels odd, strained, and put-on, it most probably is. Your relationship should never have you wondering or guessing.
He is not an undercover CIA agent.
His mobile hasn’t been stolen.
Heck, his aunt hasn’t died – well not today, that was five years ago-.
He just doesn’t want to spend that much time with you.
He just doesn’t have anything to say to you.
Repeat after me: he.is.just.not.that.into.you.
It’s that simple.
Well, now that we cleared things up, let’s please move on with our usual nighttime routine, shall we?
Pour some wine into your glass and some milk into my bowl.
And I promise I will jump on the bed and keep your feet warm tonight, purring both of us softly to sleep, as always.