You have done the craziest and coolest things together, things that become the best stories to tell at night, with some alcohol to join you, in some special place that just you hung out in. You spend hours together talking about love, and you have woken them up with after-hours calls to ask for help more times than you can remember –and of course so did they. You have created your own language and jokes and with one code word –or sometimes even with one look– you know exactly what the other wants to say and you leave everybody else wondering what’s going on.

And now you are just two strangers. You haven’t spoken in months –or maybe even in years– and you won’t do so even if you accidentally run in to each other. It’s a more likely possibility for you to turn the other way and leave. But what happened? How can two people, that have been through so much together, refuse to say hello to each other? How can best friends become worst enemies?

The reason that turned your status as friends around could be just about anything. It’s common, even totally normal, for people that spend a lot of time together and share feelings and experiences as friends do, to fight. But also to make up. What can make two people, who shared so many things, fight in a way that you feel that your former friend is now your worst enemy?

Can it be a matter of treason? A messed up love triangle? Or just a misunderstanding? It can really be anything – but the question is if there’s really a reason worth losing a good friend? I think that in these kind of matters the answer can be a little more complicated. It’s really nice to say no, that it’s simple and not at all complicted, that friends should stick together and love is all that matters, but reality is a little different. It all depends on the reason that makes things go that way. I mean you can’t tell someone to forgive their friends if they tried to hurt them, if they betrayed their trust, if they messed with one they love.

A lot of times we say that it is not worth it to fight over a lover with a friend, that friends come before lovers; and I agree with that up to some point. As long as both friends believe the same thing. It’s not so much the fact that something might have happened between your friend and lover, but the fact that someone you consider a friend tried to steal something you love from you, someone who betrayed your trust, even knowing that would hurt you. It makes you wonder if that person was ever your friend.

And the same goes for any reason. It’s not the exact act of betrayal as is that matters so much as –it can be forgotten as the time goes by– what it meant for your friendship. There are some things that show you the real face of people you thought you knew and may surprise you in the worst way. Can you turn around and pretend you didn’t see that? Can you risk being betrayed again?

Now, you can say “okay you don’t have to be friends again with someone that hurt you and someone you have lost your faith in, but do you really need to be enemies?” That’s a complicated matter too.

Of course it’s not something that you would recommend to anyone but it’s not easy to be the bigger person in all circumstances. Τhe reason that friends who fight become the worst enemies is because they loved each other. Only a feeling as powerful as love can turn into one as equally strong as hate. You can’t just ignore someone you loved if they betray your trust and hurt you. You are in pain and it is that anger that leads you to see your ex friend as an enemy.

As it’s been said betrayal is so painful because it never comes from your enemies but always from those that you consider friends.

Author: Areti Acheimastou

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