Love and hate are really similar things if you think about it. There are, for sure, really strong feelings involved in both of them and sometimes the one exists because the other existed in the past. That happens because it is difficult to get hurt by someone that you don’t care about – and most importantly by someone that you know they don’t care about you. What can you expect from someone who doesn’t like you anyway?
But what happens with those whose feelings aren’t clear? Do they like you or not? Or are they pretending? The same goes for their intentions, of course. That kind of situation can be confusing and end up in a real mess; usually not of the good kind.
From my experience, people that you know hate you, or at least dislike you, are far less dangerous than those who may seem to love you, but are just waiting for the right time to stab you in the back. Those are the people that are really dangerous.
They will make you trust them, you’ll be relaxed with them because you will not be aware of any danger and when they think it is the right time they will hurt. And the worst part is that they will hurt you using the “weapons” you gave them; which could be anything – from a secret to one of your weaknesses.
It may seem like all this is a bit over the top –I mean, who would purposely pretend to love you when they dislike you in reality, right?– and I would be the first to agree with that as I like to keep it realistic and as far away from drama as I can. But if you think about it, everyone has experienced something like that at least once in their life. I’m not talking about invisible enemies here. I’m not referring to those who constantly think ‘oh my god everyone is so jealous of me, everyone wants to hurt me!’, Heavens no! But as I was saying, it could happen to anyone – and it has happened to everyone. And it could be anyone anywhere. A colleague at work, a jealous friend, a classmate.
The other important thing I learned is that those people don’t need any particular reason to do what they are doing. You may think that if someone is going to hate you it might be your fault at least in some way. But is kind of useless to try to rationalize those kinds of behaviors. If you think about it, as a process, it is extremely complicated. Someone who pretends to like you when they really don’t and does all sorts of things just to find something that they could hurt you with, is the worst kind of toxic.
It’s crazy if you think about it and someone like that is not someone that you want to be around for sure.
For that reason, it is meaningless to try to find out why would someone do this, and most possibly, making much of an effort to figure them out will be proven a waste of time. Even if you did something that hurt them something like that wouldn’t be normal. You can’t look for sane answers from people that act like that. I mean what kind of normal person would dislike someone, but would spend time with that person, and even be nice to them so that they can hate them in secret?
Forgive me for the characterization but only an unstable person would do that. It is much healthier to be mean to someone you don’t like from the beginning than play this charade.
It’s not that I’m saying you shouldn’t trust anyone you meet who is kind to you. No, of course not. That would make your life miserable. But it won’t hurt to keep your eyes open so that you will open your heart only to those that they deserve it.