In our life we all have regrets for things we have done, or worse, for things we didn’t do and we wish we had. You are pretty lucky if you have just a few regrets, because there are a lot of people who, at the end of the day, have to lie down in their bed with only them for company.

But let’s take a look at the whole mistakes thing that brings the regrets part from the bright side.

Yes, it is possible. They say that you usually regret the things you do in anger, but never the things you do in love. Well let’s be honest; that’s a really sweet concept, but it’s not completely true. I mean we all can think of a lot of crazy things we have done for love. Some of them didn’t turn out very nicely, and maybe we wish we haven’t done them. You might have ended up with a broken heart, shattered to pieces, looking like a fool, being duped.

Those things weren’t part of your plan for sure but, on the other hand, it is often said that, when humans make plans, God is laughs. But I’m still positive that these kinds of regrets are not a bad thing. I wouldn’t even call them regrets. Just lessons that have been learned. We didn’t come into this world knowing things. For the best or the worst we have to find things out along the way. And that’s impossible without making mistakes. Especially when it comes to relationships.

Things we did that, in the end, didn’t work out as we’d hoped, things we said that we wish we could take back, decisions we made in a rush, things we wish we hadn’t done –or we had done it differently.

Well, now you know what to do in the future. You may have gotten hurt, or hurt another, but you learned what you should or should not do the next time that you come across a similar situation.

That’s the way regrets should work. They are not supposed to stay in your life, make you relive in the past and haunt you. But they should be there to remind you what you have been through, what lead to the end of your relationship, what made you lose yourself so that you won’t repeat the same things that led you to have regrets in the first place.

If you use those kinds of experiences in that way, and you are a little bit lucky when the right person finally comes to your life, you’ll be ready to treat them in the right way; the way you should and be treated, the way you deserve.

On the other hand, regrets about things we didn’t do are a little bit trickier. There is always an ‘if’ there that make us think about all the possible scenarios that could have happened if we only were more daring.

What if I have stayed? What if I had told the truth? What if I had said that I loved him/her? What if I had forgiven that mistake? And the list just keeps going. That can be a real trap though. One you shouldn’t allow to yourself to fall in. I mean if you still have a chance to do things differently, then do them differently. Try it –you don’t need any more regrets for things you didn’t do– at least you’ll know you tried. But there’s no point in thinking about situations you can do nothing to change anymore. You will only end up torturing yourself.

You should, at some point, let it go and use it for the best. After all you are only human –not everything we do is perfect or wise or has a reason. Maybe you just made a wrong decision at some point, you made a mistake, you got afraid. That’s okay too. You should accept and love yourself with those moments too. Possibly, you learnt your lesson anyway. And that’s what really counts.

You should cherish them and enjoy everything before you start losing them. Love shouldn’t be a secret. If you love someone tell them. You will always regret it if you don’t. Don’t be afraid to be or seem ridiculous. The only thing that will be ridiculous is to not take the chance to say what you feel no matter what you get as a response. And remember it may be difficult to take the risk –to say what you feel, to have a relationship, to propose – but it’s even more difficult to regret.

Author: Areti Acheimastou

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