People often say this is a sign of the times. It the way the world works and whether you are able to adjust or not, it is your fault. Because even if you manage to go with the flow, there will come a day again that you will start seeking explanations for feeling like an outcast.
The true curse -and the true blessing- of this world is that it is everchanging. Ever going. You realise it deeper when you are left behind. This understanding probably occurs the day you grow up and you start see the world for what it is. Things will no longer seem quite as bright as the first time. Places will become familiar and the old photographs held by fruit magnets on the fridge, will become the memories you are reminded of; if you ever forget.
But right now, at this very moment you are reminded that you are just a little piece of something that wishes to grow and expand. Something that wishes to take a shape differently than what has been already been dictated. Breathe and give breath. Feel alive and reciprocate the feeling. For what is worth this ride is unique on this universe and you do not wish to give it away to anything that is not made for you.
Eventually you break the world before it breaks you. You are still curious of what lies beneath the surface. Despite all your strength and motivation you are still tender. Soft and full of wonder and possibility. There is wonder in your eyes and dirt under your fingernails from those rocks you like to bring home to paint. They somehow resemble to your foundation. So solid and trasformative at the same time. You look high above and recognise the endless possibilities. Your spirit is still breathing and it has not broken by empty promises, inglorious lovers, lost chances, and fearful tomorrows. You are still here gazing the vast sky.
You draw constellations mimicking the freckles on your face. Each one has a different story to tell. Followed by clusters, dying suns and every far off galaxy you have yet to discover. Yet to unravel from the mysteries of the darknes that prevails outside and lingers inside. Sometimes you feel afraid you might fall short and none of it would matter, not when the real thing is staring you in the face. Not when the real you is waiting to be discovered over and over again. You are not either a bright city that people eagerly visit, nor a small town with little cafes and a welcoming atmosphere. You are an entire world walking around without the slightest clue how much power what you look in the mirror holds.
Either you have put on make up to highlight those freckles, or just leave vulnerability on like you favorite lipstick, or simply let strong tears roll down your cheeks as it is the inly way for your eyes to wash and see clearer. Because big, mighty girls do cry. Each tear is replenished by what catches and holds the gaze of those that deserve them: their souls.