Sometimes love affairs can be described as simply as that.
You meet someone, fall for them, make big dreams and plans for the two of you, but the “happily ever after” you expect doesn’t seem to come. So, regardless of who decides that it is time to say goodbye, you finally break up. Suddenly, your sweetheart becomes just another ex and you remain solo once again.
At first, you may just feel numb. But, then the nightmare of wondering what is next, begins. Ok, I know that the first days or even months after the end of a relationship can be extremely difficult and painful. It is possible that you feel confused, unbalanced and lost. People around you, and life that continues anyway, force you to get yourself together and move on. So, in times of desperation and weakness, you start imagining that having a new and better relationship the only thing that would save you. But, does moving on necessarily mean finding your next lover?
Well, I don’t think so. In fact, what moving on really means for me is letting go of all this pain, the suffering, and the bitter feelings that the inglorious ending of a relationship can bring. It means that you should put that heartbreaking experience behind you once and for all. And it also means that instead of rushing into a new relationship, it is high time you made yourself a priority. After all, there is only one person that can really make you feel better after a hard break-up. And this person is you. Let’s see why.
When people start a new relationship with someone, they usually invest a lot of energy in it. Then again, building a strong relationship isn’t an easy task. You have to keep on putting effort in it and you must always try hard to make things work. When you are in love with someone, you feel the urge to look lovely, funny, and smart for them. And when you are involved with them, you do your best to keep them with you, happy and pleased. More than often, you have to change some of your old habits and set aside your own dreams and ambitions to live harmonically with that special someone. Eventually, you may lose pieces of yourself to make a perfect match for them. So, when the relationship unfortunately ends, you might not recognize who you are anymore. In other words, you need some time to reinvent yourself.
Look at it this way. This empty space between relationships is the time that the real you gradually surfaces. Time to stop pretending to be perfect and to quit trying so hard to make someone else happy. It is your opportunity to listen and attend to your own needs and your chance to breathe freely. To do all these things that you have put aside for the sake of your relationship. To have new experiences and real, carefree fun. It is time to be your number one priority.
So, before becoming frustrated and jumping desperately into a new relationship, almost dooming it to fail too, take a deep breath. Give your heart the time to heal. Take a break to be able to find yourself again. And in the meanwhile, enjoy being alone by doing whatever you like. Cook your favorite meals, watch your favorite movies, listen to your favorite songs, and spread yourself out all over the bed. Spend quality time on your own and have fun. Love yourself for who you are.
Because sooner or later love will come knocking on your door again. And that way you will be fully healed and ready to live it.