I believe in second chances, really I do.

But giving a third shot -or even more- to someone? That is a completely different thing. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

Okay, let’s picture that. You love them, they loves you; you are both happy. End of story. Then, they suddenly do something that makes you suffer and hurts your feelings. Is it painful? Of course it is. Is it something unnatural? Of course not. Do you forgive them? I don’t know; I guess it depends.

If you both are up to trying, then they might deserve a second chance. But, should they finally get it? I guess in most of the cases the answer should be yes.

You see, though we might think of someone as a god on earth while enjoying a loving, passionate relationship with them, they are, in fact, only a human being. And as such they are expected to make mistakes in order to learn from them. Unfortunately, sometimes these mistakes hurt a lot. If they understand that and they want to make amends, the possibility of a second chance jumps in.

So, do you give it or not?

Well, a second chance is necessary sometimes in order to make things right. Or to give something that has come full circle more appropriate closure – if that doesn’t work. Although it is hope that brings second chances, forgiving and starting all over again can really make a difference only if the people involved actually learnt something from the mistakes they made before.

So, there are times when you should give it another try and others that a second chance might be a complete waste of time. The truth is that giving second chances is not something that follows some rule or pattern. The people involved, facts, past experiences and feelings always affect such a decision. But let’s say that almost everyone deserves a second chance to prove that they want what they used to have and to fight hard for it.

So, go on and give it to them if you feel like it. But, make sure that, if they take this second shot, they don’t waste it.

Because, if the same mistake is made twice, the second time it is by choice.  

And though we have agreed that someone deserves a second chance to win you back, we should also not forget that you deserve a second chance as well. A second chance at happiness, that is. And if that someone is not willing to make you happy, then I am sure there’s another someone out there to do so.

Bear in mind that by giving many second chances to people that do not deserve them, you might lose the opportunity to open up to others that really want to be an important part of your life. Because while someone gets yet another chance from you, just to blow it once again, someone else, who is waiting for their first chance, might be blocked away. And you might lose them forever.

Thus, even as a deeply romantic soul, I want to say that our sweethearts would deserve to be forgiven dozens of times, this isn’t quite right. In fact, I think that only saints and fools give countless second chances.

So, you are free to give someone as many other shots as you want, as long as you do not feel an abused fool for doing so. That might mean giving a thousand chances or none. But, if you ask me, the second opportunity you give a person, should also be their last one. Because, when someone wastes their second chance, they surely don’t deserve a third.

Author: Sofia Argyriadou

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