It’s been like a ritual for the two of us: me telling you the last goodnight and you telling me the first good morning; a way to assure each other that we are on each other’s mind day and night. Only, the day arrived that good morning was not the first though on your mind. You forgot; you had other more important things to do that morning.
It’s not the fact you didn’t say good morning that day that bothered me so much, you know. It’s all the things it stood for. I am no longer an important part of your life and you no longer have time for me; not even as much as ten fucking seconds to pick up the phone and write a quick good morning text on your way to work.
I tried calling, not to confront you but to make sure that you are okay, but you wouldn’t pick up. I knew you could see my call, but you chose to ignore it. I knew it because I’d seen you doing it to others a thousand times before. I guess my turn was bound to come, the time when you hadn’t missed me enough or weren’t in the mood to talk to me.
Well, I have news for you, baby. Just because I love you too much, and just because I am always available for you, it doesn’t mean that I will not walk away from you if you take me for granted. And you obviously have.
So, I’m thinking that maybe it’s time to change the game. Maybe I should ignore your call the next time around or maybe I should “forget” to wish you good night tonight. And when you ask, I won’t even bother myself with finding excuses. I will just boldly state that I could have picked up, I could have texted you, but I chose not to – just because.
Forgive and forget, they say, but isn’t that how you end up losing in love? One forgives and forgets and the other keeps repeating the same things over and over again. I will forgive and I will forget eventually. But first I need to make you pay for it. There is no better way to make people see their mistakes than treating them the same way they treat you. And tonight, darling, you will be paying.
I won’t be your drama queen for the day. I will be full of laughter and happy smiles. You won’t get the satisfaction of watching me complain in front of you and you won’t get the chance to accuse me of overreacting. I won’t ruin my day over something like that. It’s not a big thing on its own anyway.
Tonight, though, you will be getting what’s coming to you. I just wish I could see your face when you realize you won’t be hearing from me. I want to see how cool you’ll be when you find yourself walking in my shoes; when you think of the things I thought of this morning.
It’s not the absence of your good morning that annoyed me, my love. It’s that you’ve taken for granted that I will let this pass as if nothing happened, just like I let so many things pass.
I guess you’ve forgotten what I once told you. I can love you with all my heart, like I’ve never been heartbroken before, I’ll do anything for you and it won’t be because I expect anything in return, but start taking me for granted and you got yourself a ticket out of my life in a snap of my fingers.
You seem to have confused things. Being open and available doesn’t mean I’m weak and vulnerable. I could walk away in an instant; and if I do, there is no coming back for me, no second chances because I would have already given you several chances in the relationship.
You love me, you care for me, you even plan things with me – I’ll give you that. But you need to express that love in ways I can read, baby.
If not, I’m out. And trust me, you’ll miss me like hell when I’m gone.