It’s not always nice to see what other people think of you. It wasn’t easy to see myself through you, either. You love me with all your heart — I never doubted that and I never will. But you can’t always be good and perfect and I could clearly see that. You wanted the best of me and the best for me. So, you would go on and on about everything good in me, but there was no hesitation in your voice when you told me I was being a selfish arse at times.
See, your opinion matters because you matter. I want to bring out the best in me so that you see it and you fall for me even more. I want you to want me as much as I want you and whenever I see you disappointed or mad, I get frustrated.
You let me know of my every single nasty behavior; of every little thing, I do what shows how arrogantly and selfishly I act and react in certain situations. You showed me that no words, no matter how strong they might be, are enough if they are not backed by actions.
Yet, you always praised my kind and sympathetic nature, my patience, and my soothing voice. I could see myself portrayed right before my eyes. There were times I would be proud of the person I saw, but there would be times I’d feel embarrassed.
The thing is, you would always give a solid argument as to why you said what you said; one that I would not be able to counter-argue mainly because you were right and I was wrong most of the time.
You know what they say. We all want to be good people, perfect. So, we focus on everything good and we ignore whatever seems unbalanced or abnormal. Yeah, I yelled a lot even in the least tragic or serious of situations just to make a point I could have made if I talked calmly.
I also got to see I have depth and weeds. I never thought I was that smart until you showed me. You engaged me into conversations I would never imagine me having about big and important things.
I saw I was a strong person, even when I acted like a scared mouse. You pushed me, just to show me that. You made me react to certain things, just to stress my strength out later on. You knew exactly what to do and what to say and you knew when to do it.
Seeing myself through your eyes, I discovered a multitalented, complex character with peculiarities, with its ugly and pretty sides. You showed me that it is normal to have a good and a bad side as long as you can control and balance both; yeah, I know I don’t.
I hear you talk about me and I am certain that what you say reflects who I am; you boost my confidence in a way. You make me feel proud and project more of the things that make me feel like that and at the same time you help suppress the worst aspects of my character.
I see myself through your eyes and I see a person worth loving. I see a person equal to any other. I see a person who’s sometimes out of control, shouting and screaming just to come to apologize minutes later.
Through your eyes I saw someone who has a lot of weakness, but who’s not weak. You helped distinguish the two. You made me see, just by telling me things about myself.
And now when people ask me who I am, I can tell them that I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy, your guardian angel, or the devil that’s going to push you off the edge. I am both equally; sometimes simultaneously.
I am simply human. I’d forgotten that was okay. I’d forgotten superheroes don’t really exist. But you reminded me that it’s fine as long as you try to fight your demons and awaken your inner beauty.
I read your eyes, listened to your thoughts, I gathered information and now I know. I am someone you don’t want to lose no matter what, even if you want to kill me at times.
You know what? So are you.