I woke up by the threshold. It was either act according to my feelings or act crazy and lose you forever. It was the moment I realized that you’ve had enough with my bullshit and the insane reactions; it was that I calmly sat down and thought things through. It’s the moment I realized that I could only blame you as much as I blamed myself.
We both had our fair share of ugliness; we had both expressed pathetic behaviours at times as a response to each other, but we had – we still have I want to believe – a love so strong that makes us want to still fight.
It’s been mistreated, it’s bruised and dirty, but it’s still there and after all of the things we’ve said and done, maybe it’s time to act our age and treat this relationship as we should have in the first place. We were about to give it up altogether but every time one of us would turn around and see the other one looking.
We promised that would be the last time something like that happened; blank accusations, frustration, screaming, all for nothing. We promised to make this beautiful, just like it should be.
The moments we spent talking and fooling around calm and relaxed, we both felt like the luckiest people on earth. Time stopped and we wanted nothing more; I as there for you and you were there for me and that was all we needed to feel happy and fulfilled; one of the happy ones, you could tell by our faces.
Can you imagine a more perfect match for you? Because quite frankly, I can’t; if it doesn’t work with you with you, then it won’t with anyone else and that’s precisely why I get so mad every time you tell me that I will eventually be happy in someone else’s arms.
A love like this doesn’t come around often; a love like this could form the basis of a novel or a script. Never in my life could I imagine that you would come into my life the way you did or that you would come to be irreplaceable and essential for my well-being.
I’ve driven you crazy, but then again so have you. I have ignored you; then again you’ve acted recklessly. And then again here we are; both of us, still trying. So, when you tell me I am being arrogant and selfish saying that this is for the long run, let me tell you that it’s none of that. It’s simply trust in our feelings and what we can achieve if we begin to act as we feel.
I’ve accepted my fair share of stupidity and the fact that I almost blew this whole thing up. I’ve also promised to cut the crap and show you exactly what I feel for you.
I know it’s hard to move forward letting go of all the past shit we threw at each other, but I am willing to and I can see you are too. So, we sat down and we talked and we decided to replace all the bad memories with the new, the beautiful and amazing ones we will be creating from now on.
All of the heartache we caused each other will transform into utter happiness. Every fight will become long talks and anything bad and painful will be replaced by bliss and love. It’s who we are, who we’ve been all along.
Behind every suspicion and anger, behind every accusation and threat there it was, stripped off of everything, the fear of losing each other but instead of simply stating and admitting that, we let our selfishness and our ego lead the way ending in that mess.
As of this point forward, as of the moment I realised how selfish and ugly I’ve been towards you, I promise to always show you how feel about you, no matter how stressed or tired I feel. I promise to be the sweet girl you met, the one who hangs on your every word, the one who admires you and is proud to say that you are her man.
As of the day I promised you forward, I solemnly swear to love and cherish the way you deserve to be loved and cherished.