Everyone has one or two – or seven. Mine are Glossophobia the fear of speaking in public and Gynophobia the fear of women. Ironically I like women and I like words, hence the writing and the romancing. But out in public, I just can’t do it — I can’t build up the courage to talk to women.
But do I just let fear run its course and consume me for the rest of my life?
Or do I fight, do I overcome it, do I defeat it in order to live my life without restrictions?
It’s easy to say all that, but is it easy to do?
First, let’s look at the formation of fear. Some just happen naturally, such as the fear of dangerous animals, certain locations, and acts that result in us leaving our comfort zone; such as public speaking. Sometimes, believe it or not, people don’t want to be the center of attention; and forcing someone to stand up in front of a group of people and talk to them about a certain topic will definitely make you a little bit hesitant.
Also, imagining people in their underwear does not work; you just make beautiful people more beautiful.
Then there is psychological formation due to a tragic event or occurrence. Some of us laugh at the silly phobias out there believing that no one could possibly have those fears, until we learn about the tragedies that lead to the phobias in the first place. Such as a fear of left turns because of a car accident, or a fear of hospitals because of the loss of a loved one.
But no matter how you came upon fear, you cannot let it consume you. You cannot let it stop you from living your life.
How do we overcome our fears?
Do we overcome it by shocking the system; by being around or exposing ourselves to the phobia multiple times?
Or do we study and adapt the body into solving the affliction we have mentally or physically placed upon ourselves?
Well… I say embrace it…
You see humans need to understand the powers they wield; they are able to climb the highest mountains and sail across the widest seas. They are able to go places the Gods did not want them to go, by giving themselves wings to fly through the skies, suits to take steps into space, brand new hearts when their old ones stopped working and -last but not least- knowledge by pushing the boundaries of scientific discovery in order to help the next generation to develop even more.
We should have no limitations.
So our mind decides to create a few instead.
Doubt, stress, and fear build up misguided logic as you calculate that you do not have enough willpower and energy to complete the task at hand; even though those around you have completed the task many times before. We create barriers between ourselves and our target goals by adding obstacles that were not there to begin with because we believe that others have these special gifts and talents that God handed out during their creation while you were given a banana.
I agree that we are given a mixed bag, but that does not dictate ability – that dictates personality. You are all given the energy, the power to change the world, or to create worlds of your own and the only way you are going to realize that is by defeating the doubt, the stress and the fear in your mind; by embracing your own fear itself.
You have all heard the saying the first step to solving a problem is to admit you have one.
Well, it’s sort of the same deal only you use it.
I started this article by stating my fears: Glossophobia and Gynophobia. Now ask yourself who would admit their fears for the world to read? (Well, for my small audience to read, but still.) Embracing them lets me get through them, taking small steps to no longer have those fears. I started going out in the world, meeting new people and learning how to interact with others of the opposite sex. I got more social using Twitter and Facebook to connect with people and learn their views and beliefs on the world around them in order to strengthen my own.
Now I can talk to woman but I’m still pretty awkward… While most guys are like:
Hey, love your shirt, yeah I’m a huge fan of Mongolian Death Metal.
Um… Hi, do you like Cake?
So yeah, I need a bit of work, and I only realized that because I understood my fears, I accepted my fears rather than pretending I don’t have any. We like to act tough, to put up a front to show people that we are capable individuals who don’t get angry, who don’t get annoyed and, most importantly, who aren’t afraid.
But to be afraid is to be human.
We seek love because we fear loneliness, we seek wealth because we fear that we won’t be able to survive and we seek attention because we fear being forgotten.
But that is human nature, so don’t ignore it, embrace it and use it to become better.