The past year has taught me much indeed, and one of the many lessons, if not the greatest, I have been taught is to always choose quality over quantity, setting the bar for standards even higher for those that rightfully deserve a place in my life. Therefore, if it’s been a while since the last time you received a message from me it is about time you were worried. When I care about someone, I try to reach one. Not on a daily basis perhaps, but very often within a week. Communication is my middle name. If there was ever anything that could drive me to suicide, consider this; delete my social media accounts, throw my phone away, burn my car down. In other words, demolish any plausible medium used to reach the people I care about.

No matter how busy I am, I shall be there for you through thick and thin once I set the record straight with my heart and mind that I care for you. I don’t easily get attached to people, but when I do – oh boy are you in big trouble. I’m the annoying friend sending you memes to laugh at. That chatterbox that will spam you with silly pictures of myself, updating you with all the latest news going on. Even that update secludes being inside a clothing store asking your opinion on which dress I should pick, or ecstatically sending you a screenshot of the chat of the guy who has just texted me. I’d share all these meaningless, yet very important, things with you because I obviously care and want you to be a part of my reality. Likewise, you being there for me, I am the type of person you would call at three in the morning while you are having a panic attack and I will be there in minutes. I shall be the one for bitching and moaning at and asking for advice from, cause you know I am pretty good at this relationship shit. I am here for you and you are here for me.

Previously, I was a socialist, yet, over the past few months, I have found myself decreasing the number of people with whom I interact, apart from my family, to its most plausible minimum, to be counted by the fingers of one hand. Why am I telling you all these, you wonder. Why because it is about time you opened your eyes and see for yourself that it takes two to tango in any kind of relationship, whether it is a romantic affair or a friendship. Many are those who were, and still are, in search of the key to a perfect relationship. Let me enlighten you then, there is no key and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.

However, I can supply you with another key. The key to the survival and longevity of a relationship is none other but mutual effort. If you are one of those hopeless dreamers that still believe in the power of companionship and growing old with the people that you love, you are damn well aware of the commitment and patience the magic number two entails. If you insist on sacrificing yourself and time without any responses from the other person, I am truly afraid that your relationship is already in the drain.

Of course, all relationships have their ups and downs and that’s the beauty of it – that nothing is to be taken for granted, you have to work for it. What I’d rather call a functional relationship is one in which one takes care of the other and that does not necessarily imply being physically present. A simple message could do the work. It’s all about sending a Good morning or Good night text, showing them that they are in your thoughts. You know, there are thousands of ways to display that you genuinely care and the words ‘I love you’ do not have to be one of them.

Checking on one after they are done with their exam or sending a random text of how you miss them, are really good ways to make your presence visible. Pay attention to this though – there are people who will seek for you only when they have free time and then there are those strange people who will track you down despite how busy they are. The latter ones, are the ones you should worship and reserve a spot for in your life. I’m referring to the people who miss you during the day while they are busy and not the ones that contemplate about you when they have nothing better to do.

One more thing – run a quick search through your phone. How many more times are you planning to initiate a conversation? How many more texts and time are you planning to waste on people that don’t pay a slice of attention to you? Love, friendship, and kisses are not to be forced despite one’s desperate desire.

Those who care will always find a way to reach you. No message is also a message; a message of how they don’t give a fuck about you. Wake up honey, they don’t deserve you, nor the place you have given them in your life. Surround yourself with people that push you to your limits, motivate, support and, most of all, die to know of how your day went. The number of those people doesn’t have to be a double-digit. It’s okay if it is only one. But make sure they are worth it and they earned it rightfully.

To all with whom I am consistently in touch with – You have entered my priorities list which can only mean that you are somehow special to me and, you have also found yourself a crazy-ass lady who, despite driving you insane 24/7, shall also love and cherish you as long as you are there for me too.

Author: Marianna Ioannou

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