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“Do you really want this girl or not?” I ask him, irritated by his way of thinking. “Because if you do, you have to get yourself together before it’s too late.”

I advise you to do the unexpected. Tell her something she’s never heard before.  She already knows she’s a pretty one; I can tell by the way that she poses in pictures. I bet she has been complimented about having a beautiful face by dozens of men. Don’t be afraid to tell her that the most beautiful part about her is none other but her mind and compliment her on how amazing the way she sees things is.

Get to know her a bit before you ask her out. Find out what her favourite color is and go online to read the summary of the book she is currently enjoying so you stimulate her interest. Talk to her about art and take her to museums to appraise paintings together. When do enter a museum make sure she is the only thing you are staring at so that you show her that she is worth more than the masterpieces hanging on the wall. Buy her coffee and share the calories of your dessert with her, giving her the largest piece. Go shopping with her and do not be hesitant on expressing your opinion on which shade of pink her new top should be despite of not having the slightest idea what the difference between those shades is. Do not complain about her owning too many accessories or make up; she doesn’t need that kind of negative energy in her life.

Accept the fact that her favourite singer shall always be her biggest crush, regardless her age. While she is in the kitchen making breakfast, grab her from the back and swirl her around in a waltz pace while toast is getting ready. Surprise her with flowers and learn how to be a good listener while she whines on and on about the non-existent problems she and her friends have. Help her pick a cute outfit for tomorrow’s workday and do not forget to send her a good morning and a good night text to ask her how her day went. Bring her chocolate when she’s on her period and agree to watch a soppy romantic movie by the company of candlelight and blankets. Handle her mood swings like a pro. Let her sleep on your chest so that she feels safe despite of not being unable to breathe properly. Cuddle her cheek with your thumb while she falls asleep in your arms and smell her shampoo while messing with her hair.

When she walks out of the room, immediately grab your phone and take good shots of her – shots worth being posted on social media. Magnify her confidence by stating how talented she is, in whatever her hobbies are. Seize the chance to meet and become acquaintances with her best friends in order to learn more things about her. Do not quarrel with her squad and for god’s sake do not go down that path of not allowing her to go out on a Friday night with her girlfriends. You want those manipulative chicks to like you or else you are in deep shit. Quick tip – laughing when they assimilate themselves with the Sex and the City gang is not advised.

Be genuine about your feelings, whichever those are. Do not say or promise things unless you sincerely mean them. And when it comes to “I love you”, it is better that you spurt it when you are ready rather than rushing to utter it just so you’ve said it.

Respect her need for privacy and do not make a fuss when she gives you the sideways glance while you are texting someone. Being bossy is who she is and she is not going to change.  Do not even dare to tame her for that would be just an utter waste of your time. When in public, hold her tight by the hand with a boastful proud smile drawn across your face for having such a woman by your side. Be a true gentleman – open doors for her and watch that ass walking in and out of entrances, appreciating how lucky of a man you are. Embrace her, support her and make her feel like she’s the only girl in the world. Call her names – she could be your babe, your lady; as long as it’s your just about anything’s good.

As far as sex goes, ensure that you have first undressed her mind right before unzipping her expensive black lace bra and taking off her Victoria Secret panties. Make love to her smoothly and slowly, whispering in a hoarse voice how you never want this to end. And once you are out with that, you would be welcomed to might as well stay forever. But if “forever” happens to scare the shit out of you, you better get going in this very moment.

“In other words my dearest, in a world full of guys be a man.” I state exhausted by my speech and sip some hot coffee to calm down my thirst while he looks at me with a suspicious grin.

“So when are we going out?” He demands and bursts into loud laughter while I sit opposite him with rose red cheeks of embarrassment for guiding him all along and handing him the manual on how to date me.

Author: Marianna Ioannou

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