dani170217

We’ve all been there. That moment you realize you like someone. I obviously don’t mean you like them as a friend but like actually like them – as something more. Depending on who the person is, it can be a glorious moment or a total “oh shit” one. But either way, there’s that instant where it just clicks.

“I think I’m really into you.”

This can usually happen one of two ways: You met someone and are immediately into them, or your feelings grow and develop from friendship to something more. Let’s take a gander at these two situations.

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I noticed you walk into the coffee shop. There was some kind of aura about you that made me look up – I need to emphasize, when I’m in the writing zone nothing can distract me. I’m in my own world and oblivious to anything outside my computer screen and the music blasting through my headphones. That’s how I knew something was up. Something about you caught my attention from the corner of my eye and made me look up.

The second I lifted my gaze as you were walking by we made a moment of eye contact. That was all I needed. I could feel my heart start pounding. That exact moment was when I knew I’d be completely unproductive the rest of the day. I guess I wanted more awareness of my surroundings because I took out my right side earbud and innocuously began surfing around on the internet, completely unaware of anything on my screen.

I wish I could say I wasn’t really paying attention when you walked up next to me and casually asked if the seat next to me was taken. It wasn’t, but, to be honest, I’d have told you that even if someone was sitting there. Fuck ‘em, right?

I figured that’d be the end of it, but then you struck up a conversation. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who could sense the chemistry between us.

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It’s not always that immediate, though. Sure it’s great when there’s a moment of instant attraction, but let’s be real, sometimes feelings pop up out of nowhere for someone you’ve known for a while.

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Shit. I closed the door behind me and laid my head back against it the moment I got inside my apartment. It was an overwhelming feeling, and it caught me completely off guard. We’ve been friends for some time, so why was it now, all of a sudden, when we were sitting just a little closer than we should have been that I realize maybe I wanted something a bit more.

What was different this time? It seems ridiculous that I’d literally never thought of you that way. Why now? What the fuck happened?

Shit. I don’t really want to complicate things, and what if you don’t feel the same way. Why would you? I didn’t even feel this way until today. It’s insane that these feelings weren’t even on my radar and now it’s all I can think about. This realization should be a happy moment, not this strange mixture of excitement and dread.

I swear these feelings for you weren’t there all along. Does this make them more authentic and lasting, or is it just a sign that I’m super confused? Now I have to figure out what to do with my attraction to you. I can’t really act on it, I mean, that could totally ruin our friendship. As my stomach tightens, I slide down the door until I’m sitting on the floor. Contemplating and trying to understand what the fuck just happened.

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Two very different situations, considering they’re dealing with the same feelings, and yet, we’ve probably all been in both of them before. It’s funny how strange and random our thoughts and feelings can be.

Author: Dani Howell

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