The story was so predictable that it could be called borderline boring. Boy A met girl A, yada-yada, she fell madly in love, he did too – but for another girl. Hence he lied his ass off, treated girl A like shit, disrespected her and broke her heart to pieces. Thank you for watching, good night.
You know, I realized something the other day, as I was talking to a common friend; there’s something icky in the way I see our time together know. I look back and even my mouth is filled with a taste of bitterness. And if I make the mistake and do look back for a few seconds, I immediately regret it, because I haven’t quite forgiven myself yet.
I haven’t forgiven how I let my IQ and dignity drop in such a tremendously low point. I can’t forgive me being so stupid; because it’s not that I hadn’t seen the truth, it’s simply that I couldn’t believe that I had chosen an Asshole to stand by my side!
It’s really hard to accept that, at some point of your life, you were actually in love with a person that deceived you, lied to you, has disrespected you and been cheap towards you – and yet you refused to see it. Especially if you consider yourself smarter than the average Joanne (you know “average Joe”), it’s quite big to swallow.
And then it hit me. But I had to meet you. I had to be with an Asshole at least once in my life.
No, no. I’m not talking about destiny-planned-fairy-tale-crap here. It’s just that only if you’ve really fallen for a jackass, you can actually appreciate to the bone your past and future lovers. Again, don’t get me wrong, either by being extremely picky or extremely lucky, it was only once that I crossed roads with a true Asshole.
I know how this may sound people, but it’s true that, as humans, we have a tendency in failing to appreciate what we have until we lose it – or being actually more capable of appreciating something after we’ve bitten our fair share of dust.
That’s why I’m telling you, I had to be with an Asshole.
The Asshole you spell with capital A, because otherwise you’d diminish the motherfucker’s worth in ass-units. The guy that will give you a true definition of what assholes do; it’s not the guy that said he’ll call and never did, or the guy you had a one-night-stand with and then he disappeared.
Asshole is the guy that will cry his eyes out and actually fake it. That will tell you how he’s hugging his blanket because he misses you when you’re separated – in reality, he’ll hug and fuck another woman that hears the same lies you do. The guy that will whisper “I love you” with tears in his eyes to two different women in less than 24 hours.
But all of the above won’t matter a tiny bit, because he’ll give you the greatest gift of all; the necessary experience to recognize a true Man when you see him. The kind of Man that the Asshole prepared you to appreciate and respect. To treat like the rare diamond he is. The Man whose flaws will seem laughable to you – who the fuck cares if he’s a bit messy or that he has a temper? Tough noogies, we’ll live in a messier apartment that yells a lot, where’s the tragedy?
You hear other women complaining about their boyfriends in a way that may have sounded familiar 4-5 years ago (He Liked a co-workers’ profile picture! He plays a lot of PC games! He only texts me 3 times a day, it’s a nightmare!) and all you want to do is bang their heads against some wall and make them realize how lucky they are – SAME APPLIES TO GUY-friends, the term “Asshole” isn’t gender-specific, get off my butt now, please!
But sadly, the lesson has to be taught to them the same way it was taught to you; the hard way, sooner or later. And girl, you’d better hope it’s sooner – for if you meet the Man and let him pass you by, then you’ll know the true meaning of “regret”.
Author: Petra Lane
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