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The season that we all adore, summer, is finally here to stay (for three months at least – while some of us pray for more). No winter freaks, I don’t care about you; go to Siberia to feel good or stay inside your freezer – kk, thanks, bye! Back to what we’ve been talking about before. Oh, yes, sweet summertime. The sea, the sun, the ice-cream, the holidays… Careless swimming, cocktails, endless parties with friends and other beloved ones, sunbathing, waterparks and…weddings.

What do we have here? An element of summer that some of us like, others dislike and others attend only for the free booze -and we can’t blame them, can we?- After all, we all have had a few –or a bit more– glasses of champagne during a wedding. Let’s admit it.

People love to get married in the summertime. It’s more romantic, since you can involve the sea scenery. You risk less, since you have to be totally jinxed in order to have a rainy day during the summer –unless you live, or decided to get married, on a tropical island­ and you took your chances. (and the blame at the same time.) Lastly, you can immediately escape for the honeymoon the day after!

However, we are not here to talk about wedding planning, but about wedding crying. Yes, exactly. Wedding crying. Despite the fact that the wedding is a happy ceremony, there are some people who cry at every single wedding they attend. They belong to three different categories and each one is funnier than the other. Let’s go take a look.

The soon to be –unfortunately– mother-in-law.

She cries. Loudly, continuously, miserably. She usually is the groom’s mother, who is wondering why her beloved son got seduced by such a creature as the bride, to whom she refers as a troll, an ogre or an evil witch. Her tears are a mix of despair, sadness and realizing that all her evil plans to exterminate the bride failed. Now, she can only steal the show by faking fainting, because the fake death spell during the engagement ceremony was an epic fail. When her last tear will dry off, she will deliver her broomstick to her successor, the bride, who will keep the tradition alive with her sons.

The single bride and groom’s friends, maids of honor, best men, etc.

They are these unlucky existences who witnessed their friends’ marriage single. One can’t imagine the pain of such a procedure. Slowly dying from the inside, they are faking a smile and pretending to be celebrating with the couple. Their burden is intolerable. They wait until the couple reads the wedding vows or until the video related to how they met plays in order to have a reason to cry. It may seem that they are emotional and sensitive, but they are actually crying out of despair that something like this might never happen to them. After the crying spree, they will rush to catch the bride’s bouquet; just in case. Some of them, the next day, will refer to the wedding as “nothing special” and they will say that they’ve seen better.

People who actually became emotional

Oh yes, this category also exists. There are people who are so happy for the couple that they ended up crying. This group usually includes relatives and close friends, but people in other proximity ranges are also allowed to participate. Honest people still exist, don’t look that surprised!

A drawback is that you can’t actually distinguish the second from the third category, but no one really cares because tomorrow the couple will be spending its honeymoon far away from everyone!

P.S.: A bonus fourth group are the baby sons and daughters of people invited, who are bored to death with everything going on around them.

Author: Tina Barbatsalou

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